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Headliners and Headshakers

1. Tower Club maintains façade of Bicker club, accepts 80 percent of fall bickerees

2. Yale leads Ivy League endowment growth, proves humanities kids pick better stocks than Economics majors

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3. U.S. government threatens to cut U. funding; U. reforms sexual assault policy

4. Breaking: The Daily Princetonian’s website crashes

5. Online access to alumni theses briefly suspended; American academia fails to notice

6. Bedbugs found in Forbes; sources report they came for the Arts, stayed for the Transit

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