1) Bring an apple to precept.
2) Compliment their supply and demand curves.
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3) “Your ideas are seriously way better than the professor’s.”
4) Suggest going over your paper over a candlelit dinner.
5) Move your seat progressively closer to them every week.
6) Fail your exam so you can score some one-on-one tutoring.
7) Draw hearts all over your problem sets.
8) Wear nothing but chalk dust to precept.
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9) Offer to let them probe you for their research.
10) “Say ‘dissertation’ again ... but slower.”
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