Editorial: The Princeton pedestrian

No Princetonian is so sheltered from the trials and tribulations of campus life as never to have suffered the ills inflicted by slow walkers. Running to class on the paths that cross our manicured lawns, we stumble across the packs of slow walkers shuffling their way in front of us; gazing on the glories of our beautiful campus, we are distracted by the aesthetically displeasing slow walkers dotting the landscape. The worst offenders are Princeton’s faculty. Who has not breathlessly arrived at a lecture hall, bursting with enthusiasm and eager to begin the process of learning, only to be confronted with a dawdling professor slowly meandering his or her way to the exit, delaying the process for all involved. The problem, however, pervades all of campus. Perhaps if our football players were capable of moving more quickly, for example, they would win more games. Likewise, many of the problems that we have identified in past editorials could be ameliorated simply by walking more quickly — the shortage of appointments available at McCosh, for example, could surely be remedied if nurses would simply walk more quickly.

How, then, ought the Princeton community go about remedying this pressing problem? The first step in any solution is clear: More statistics are needed on the speed of walking on campus. Without being properly informed of the state of the problem that confronts us, it will be impossible for us to successfully resolve it. Second, like all problems that confront Princeton, slow walking, too, will best be solved by a steering committee appointed by President Tilghman. Experience has shown there is no problem so complex that a steering committee cannot solve it. Lastly, we encourage the development of a mentoring program within the residential colleges, wherein upperclassmen with a demonstrated proficiency in speed walking could be assigned to particular groups of underclassmen to guide them in the ways of walking well. The problem of slow walking has plagued Princeton for too long; these steps must be taken so that we can make our campus better for future generations of Princetonians.