Sexpert: Dec. 8, 2011

Dear Sexpert,

I’m a guy, and I recently started my first sexual relationship with another man. It’s been hot for me, too hot in fact: I regularly ejaculate really early during any sexual contact. What’s up with me, and what can I do about it?

—Speedy Gonzalez

It’s wonderful that you’re in a sexual relationship that is passionate and have a partner who arouses you, but I understand that premature ejaculation can be a major frustration. I’ve written a number of times in this column about the issues some women experience in the pursuit of an orgasm, but that doesn’t mean that men can’t also have difficult or complicated problems relating to sexual climax.

Our colleagues in sexual health over at Columbia’s great site “Go Ask Alice!” cite statistics which indicate that as many as one in three men under 25 occasionally suffer from premature ejaculation. For these men, ejaculation occurs at the very beginning of a sexual encounter, during the first stages of heavy petting or just after penetration. This can be frustrating for a partner who has not yet had the opportunity to reach peak arousal and climax themselves, and it can absolutely be frustrating for the sufferer, who feels out of control of his body and is unable to participate in extended sexual contact.

—Sexpert