1. You put that there. This is entrapment.
2. It's a seeing-eye turtle.
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3. I'm allergic to poster mounts.
4. I needed to put holes in the wall so that I can breathe.
5. White walls remind me of the hospital my grandmother died in.
6. I should be allowed to have a rice cooker. This is racist!
7. The candle is to cover the smell. You don't want to know.
8. I have to keep the door propped open. I tell my 'zees I have an open door policy.
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9. I thought an "egress" was a type of bird.
10. I don't even live here.

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