ZUMBA

I quickly discovered that Zumba doesn’t use any voice commands. You just have to watch the instructor and imitate. Being my young, spry self, I figured I could probably keep up with most of the moves. I was imagining the kind of “You’re doing it!” step-clap nonsense from late-night infomercials — or at least what I’ve heard about the infomercials, as I’ve obviously never seen them. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Two seconds into the class the Black Eyed Peas began to blast through the room. A minute later I was feeling good about myself as I handled the warm-up moves with ease. Wave my hands over my head and hop around a bit? Come on. Not even a problem. About thirty seconds after that, things went downhill. Wait, I’m supposed to shake my hips how? Uh, okay give me a second… oh, have we already moved on? We’re now gyrating our hips with one of our legs off the ground, one hand saluting and the other on our hips while moving backwards. What?

Despite my struggles, Giancarla, our instructor, wasn’t waiting. She blazed through every track, putting the rest of the class to shame as she handled the movements with the skill accompanies nineteen years on the job. But although I couldn’t keep up with her, I did manage to get better. After just one session, I feel like my booty drop has improved beyond measure. Look out, Street!

Before I went to Zumba, someone told me it was for old ladies. That someone was gravely mistaken. I got my ass kicked. I also hopped up and down more than I have in my entire life. Maybe my struggles were enhanced by my less-than-expert dancing ability. Apparently there are only so many Latin dance songs I can bang out before I get winded. And Enrique Iglesias made it look so easy.

Although I couldn’t keep up with the pace, I can’t dance, I am apparently out of shape and I am a guy, I’ll admit it: I had fun at Zumba. Say what you like, but it’s fun. I felt like I was training to dance with Shakira for an hour, and nothing could be better than that. So don’t be afraid to embrace your inner she-wolf, or lone wolf, or whatever, and Zumba. You might surprise yourself!