‘The Beginning’ of ‘The E.N.D.’

With the wild success of their 2009 album “The E.N.D.,” The Black Eyed Peas cemented their reputation as the go-to band for phenomenal party music. “Boom Boom Pow” and “I Gotta Feeling,” in particular, will be on pregame playlists for many years to come. So it’s only natural that I had high hopes for the group’s new album, “The Beginning.” Unfortunately, the two albums could not be more different. After just one go with this CD, The Black Eyed Peas had officially killed my hopes, my dreams — and my party.

From the onset, it’s clear that “The Beginning” will be filled with attempts at generic, mediocre club music. The first track, “The Time (Dirty Bit),” is a techno-pop remake of the 1987 hit “(I’ve Had) The Time of My Life,” made popular by the film “Dirty Dancing.”

The electronic house beat that comprises most of the song is decent, but there is so little value in Fergie’s rendition of the chorus that the best way to listen to the track is just to get on with the fist pump and fast forward to the “dirty bit.”

The song quickly establishes the rule that defines the rest of the album: Stealing catchy bits from other songs does not automatically result in good music.

You might try to write off the opener as a quirky experiment, but it gets worse. If The Black Eyed Peas can’t pull off Deadmau5, then they definitely can’t pull off Daft Punk, which is exactly what they try to do in “Love You Long Time” and “The Best One Yet (The Boy).” Will.i.am’s production skills are very limited, and his endless use of synths and robotic voices is exhausting rather than exhilarating.

There is a slight transition back to the group’s hip-hop roots in “XOXOXO,” but the lyrics are just as awful as you would expect from the group that brought you “My Humps.” The chorus — “hugs and kisses, X and O’s” — legitimately makes me cringe, while the rap verses — “butterflies in my tummy need Pepto-Bismol baby / give me more sex though” — just crack me up. And this is one of the album’s highlights!

By the time I get to “Whenever,” I feel thoroughly cheated: I did not pay money to listen to Fergie’s cheesy solos or will.i.am’s autotuned “singing” over half-assed, trashy club beats. Is this The Black Eyed Peas or a Miley Cyrus club remix? Where is the hit that’s going to get the next party started? Where is the boom, boom, boom?

The second half of the album does a little better but is not nearly good enough to redeem the aural devastation inflicted from the start. “Fashion Beats” is refreshingly retro and glamorous, and the tune is actually cohesive — rather than just a collection of random raps and electronic noises — which offered a brief moment of respite for my injured ears. That said, the song is still little more than a rehash of Madonna’s “Vogue,” and Lady Gaga did a much better job of that with last year’s smash hit “Bad Romance.”

It’s clear that The Black Eyed Peas want to get the party started: Track titles range from the demanding (“Don’t Stop the Party”) to the downright untrue (“Just Can’t Get Enough”). Try as it might, though, “The Beginning” is really the ultimate buzz-kill. “The Best One Yet (The Boy)” sounds like a song I would use to kick my friends out of a prom night afterparty, and I would never play “Play It Loud” loudly. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly where The Black Eyed Peas went wrong or how to remedy the situation, especially since many of their quintessential sounds and elements are still here. The way I see it, the least that should come out of a good party album is a good beat to dance to, and the group fails even at that. Whether it is a fluke or a flop, it seems this really is “The Beginning” of “The E.N.D.”

1 Paw

Download this “The Time (Dirty Bit),” “Fashion Beats.”

Pros The band attempts to bring some variety to its typical approach.