Ask Alexis: Graduate lovin’

Dear Alexis,

My preceptor's super cute and I totally want to date him. Am I allowed to, and if so, how do I get him to notice me?

- Pervy in Precept

Dear Pervy in Precept,

I think we've all had those feelings. There's just nothing as hot as a jittery guy in tight jeans and a skinny tie awkwardly leading a discussion about the pedagogy of the oppressed. Or is that just me? It's moments like these that force us to remember that not all graduate students are creepy. Just most of them. So, when you find one that is not only normal, but also attractive, I tell you to go for it.

As far as the regulations go, after a few seconds of Googling, I've found no evidence for a rule against dating your preceptor. Unfortunately, this doesn't mean that there isn't a rule, and I don't want you blaming me if you eventually do get with this guy. So, let's proceed as if a relationship is prohibited. This means you must lay the groundwork now so you can make a move next semester.

One tactic is to ask him about his dissertation one day after precept. There is nothing grad students love more (besides, perhaps, lurking in shadows around undergraduate housing) than talking about their dissertations. Pretend to be super interested in his work on the metrical structure of Buddhacarita, and be sure to mention that you expect it to change literary theory as we know it. They eat that stuff up.

You could also just make super- inane comments during precept. This will ensure that you stand out from all of the other try-hards in the class. It also means you can ask him for some extra help - if you know what I mean. Even if your relationship doesn't work out, at least his cuteness forced you to pay attention in precept, and that's worth something, right?