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Ask Alexis: Finding your way

Dear Alexis,

I'm a freshman and I don't know my way around campus at all. Classes start soon, and I'm nervous that I'm going to get lost! Do you have any advice for getting around?

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- Lost and Confused

Dear Lost,

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret: There's actually a reason none of the buildings on campus are labeled. Picking on freshmen is a Princeton tradition (just Google "Cane Spree"). An easy way to distinguish freshmen from real people is to watch them bumble around campus. It takes a while to memorize which building is which, and until you do that, we get to point and laugh. But, since I'm a kindhearted person, I'm going to help you out a bit.

Rule No. 1: Do not carry a map. You know how they tell you not to carry around a map in a big city because people will know you're a tourist and mug you? It's exactly the same, except you won't lose your money - just your popularity.

If you really need to carry something with you as a guide, create a map of your own. But make it with symbols and codes and stuff so everyone will think you're just a freaky genius. You guys are supposed to be smart, right? Keep it up and maybe you'll get a movie made about you someday. It worked for John Nash GS '50.

- Alexis

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Alexis Kleinman is a junior who knows it all. She can be reached at akleinma@princeton.edu.

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