It's every Princetonian's dream to loudly proclaim that they are done with their thesis forever. These two interviewees are living the dream. Neither was drunk when the interviews were conducted. (To the rest of the senior class: The end's in sight! Unless you're an NES major, that is.)
Q: How does it feel to be done?
A: Anonymous drunk senior girl: I'm pretty hyped up, but I think that might just be because I need to detox from all the venti caramel macchiatos that are still in my system.
Anonymous drunk senior boy: It's amazing. Never felt better in my life.
Q: How are you going to celebrate?
A: ADSG: Two syllables: Robo.
ADSB: I'm afraid of my answer being published.
Q: Do you feel any of the post-partum depression I've heard some seniors have when they finish?
A: ADSG: Are you fucking crazy? Hell no!
ADSB: Nope, have not felt anything like that.
Q: How long has it been since you've been in the sunlight?
A: ADSG: Let's just say I'd make a great addition to the Cullen family.
ADSB: I was out in the sunlight everyday! I wrote my thesis outside.
Q: Have you made "thesis finished" your Facebook status? What have the comments on it been so far?
A: ADSG: Of course! But people are lame, and they mostly just hit "like." I wrote 100 pages, and all I got was a tiny pixelated thumbs up?
ADSB: No, but I should tomorrow morning. And I will, I promise.
Q: What do you plan to do now before you leave Princeton?
A: ADSG: Shave off the thesis beard ... from my legs.
ADSB: Get McCoshed, but not PMCed. It's a very hard line to guage.
Q: How long is your thesis? In inches, I mean.
A: ADSG: This innuendo is very obvious.
ADSB: 102 pages, but I don't know the dimensions. I didn't measure it - I'm not that vain, but it's something to look at in the mirror.
Interview conducted, condensed and edited by Isabel Schwab.
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