Ask the Sexpert: Apr. 1, 2010

Dear Sexpert,

I'm a healthy and virile guy, but after an especially long dry spell, I'm only now getting back into the game. The problem is that I'm having trouble getting an erection, and it's really freaking me out.

- Flaccid in Feinberg

Dear Flaccid,

Ever since the Food and Drug Administration lifted its ban on television advertisements for prescription drugs, the airwaves have been flooded with 30-second spots showcasing the various treatments for persistent inability to achieve an erection. I'm not denying that chronic erectile dysfunction exists, but these ads give the impression that every man who occasionally can't get it up is suffering from a diagnosable disorder.

The truth about impotence is that it happens to a lot of men. By some estimates, between one in 10 and one in five males are unable to obtain an erection during intimate moments at some point in their lives. The fact that these sufferers usually can get hard means they are not candidates for medication. For men in this category, the problem can be a number of things, all of them benign and all of which can be remedied by minor changes in behavior.

The most common culprit in cases of occasional impotence is the psychological factor. Some time has passed since you've been in a sexual relationship, and you might not be as comfortable navigating a sexual encounter as you once were. If you are just starting a relationship, it's possible that you are still getting comfortable with your new partner. All of these little hang-ups can cause performance anxiety, and one bad experience might inspire a vicious cycle of nerves and jitters.

Never fear, though: There are remedies for performance anxiety. Since you need to be able to relax around your new partner, consider moving your relationship forward a little more slowly than you would normally. Sex is very much about the moment, but intimacy often requires a foundation of trust and familiarity that can take some time to build.

If by "getting back in the game" you mean re-entering the hookup scene, rather than starting a new relationship with a single partner, be aware of how your body is going to behave once you're back in the dorm room. You should soon forget the minor embarrassment of not being able to perform during a one-night stand, but until you do forget, that memory could make your anxiety worse. If you choose to go home with someone you don't know very well, consider abstaining from substances. Drugs and alcohol can have a serious effect on your ability to achieve and maintain an erection.

And, of course, keep in mind that your body functions best when you are healthy. Quitting smoking, eating well and exercising regularly will both promote good circulation and keep blood flowing to your extremities. If these recommendations don't seem to help, schedule an appointment with McCosh Health Center.

- The Sexpert

The ‘Sexpert' is written by a team of peer sexual health educators and fact-checked by University health professionals. You can submit questions to sexpert@dailyprincetonian.com. Don't be shy!