I speak, obviously, of the choice of the Class Day speaker.
Every year, a committee comprising a small number (I’ll look this one up, too) of seniors chooses some reasonably prominent public figure to speak at Class Day, and every year (except that one time when it was former U.S. president Bill Clinton) there is an inexplicable and vehement backlash. This concentrated onslaught of negativity arises from the surprisingly large contingent of people who apparently believe the memory of their entire four-year Princeton experience rides on the quality of a brief address from a mid-level celebrity.
If you’re not familiar with this ridiculous phenomenon, a quick perusal of the online comments made on The Daily Princetonian’s article about the recent selection of Katie Couric as this year's Class Day speaker will bring you up to speed. There you’ll find such well-reasoned rants as “OMG worse class day speaker EVER,” “I am appalled that I paid $200,000 for my child to attend this institution for four years only to have it all ruined by this preposterous selection,” and “Katie Couric uses really big words that I would probably never have needed to know as Vice President.”
There are many more, some of them rather wordy, some even rife with tenacious rhetoric more likely to be associated with Malcolm X than “dissapointed 09.” I must say I was at first completely baffled by the potent but petty display of opposition to Couric’s selection. I was not, however, surprised to see it manifested in online comments, which have long been the choice medium for spewing vitriol on insubstantial topics. Currently, the article announcing Couric’s selection on the ‘Prince’ website ranks at just over two USGs, the standard unit of measurement for online comments. (One USG equals 20 comments equals .05 Citadels.)
Figures were unavailable for past years (no, really, I looked), but the response to the Class Day speaker is often unnecessarily negative. The reactions that amuse me most are those that lament, “Too bad they couldn’t get someone funny like Stephen Colbert from last year,” when I recall that the reception to his announcement was something like “OMG worse class day speaker EVER! Too bad they couldn’t get someone serious like that guy from ‘The West Wing’ from last year.” Of course, even more indignant was the response in 2007 to said “West Wing guy,” Bradley Whitford, whose selection paled in comparison to Clinton’s 2006 appearance. Am I the only person who enjoyed his performance in NBC’s short-lived “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip?” (Actually, I probably am; I guess that’s why it was cancelled so quickly.) He may have given an excellent speech, but no one will ever know, as it was scarcely audible above the cries of “We want Bill!” and “Bring out Slick Willie!”
But if Clinton’s selection gave unreasonable expectations for future Class Day addresses, at least the Class of 2006 appreciated him. Sure, it made everyone think, “Wow, Princeton will consistently be able to obtain without difficulty one of the most sought-after speakers in the world every single year!” He didn’t meet the unjustified shower of ingratitude that Katie Couric and others have. Never mind her illustrious career in journalism, her widely respected public image, her efforts crusading for cancer awareness or her singlehandedly demonstrating to the world that a candidate for high public office might be functionally illiterate; she’s still not good enough for some bunch of self-appointed anonymous online public-speaking critics.
My question to the complainers is: Who does live up to your ridiculous standards? One person suggested Tina Fey. What makes her more qualified? That she made Sarah Palin look bad? So did Katie Couric. Another suggestion was Bono. What’s he going to do, give a speech explaining why U2 only has, like, three good songs? Couric will probably deliver an excellent address, and anyone who really thinks she’ll ruin their graduation ought to give it a rest. Perhaps the reason other speakers turn Princeton down isn’t the obvious problem of scheduling conflicts; perhaps it’s because they don’t want a bunch of ungrateful whiners for an audience.
One final note: It would be remiss of me to ignore the controversy over Couric’s daughter being a candidate for admission this year. People think that in addition to an honorary degree and a truckload of killer swag, the University is also guaranteeing her daughter acceptance in return for the speech. I don’t think the University would ever make such a deal. Even if they would stoop to that, too many people would know, and they couldn’t risk the scandal. Eventually, the truth always comes out.
I’m sure Clinton would have something interesting to say about that.
Brandon Lowden is an electrical engineering major from McKees Rocks, Pa. He can be reached at blowden@princeton.edu.
Want to be a ‘Prince' columnist? E-mail opinion@dailyprincetonian.com by Feb. 20 for details or an application.
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