Feb. 26 through Feb. 28, 8 p.m.
Class of 1970 Theatre, Whitman College
If you've ever wondered what it would be like to have all the presidential assassins - both successful and unsuccessful - in one room, then "Assassins" is the show for you. Come on. I know you have. And you know what's even better? These aren't your standard dour, sourpuss assassins: They're all-singing, all-dancing, all-fun! Talk about a good premise. I do love you, Stephen Sondheim. This show is also playing next weekend.
Princeton Chinese Theatre presents "Thunderstorm"
Feb 26-8, 8 p.m.
Frist Performance Theatre
Cao Yuf's "Thunderstorm" is one of the most popular Chinese dramatic works of all time. It deals with a number of cheery themes: despair, moral depravity, corruption, class conflict and incest. Princeton Chinese Theatre's adaptation shortens the play from its original four hours to a more palatable two-and-a -half, but we're promised the "essence" of the play is still very much intact. If "Assassins" sounds too light-hearted, then this might be the play for you this weekend. Knowing a bit of Chinese might help, though.
"Britannicus"
Feb. 26-27, 8 p.m.
Princeton University Art Museum
Princeton's French theater group, L'Avant-Scene - formerly known as L'Atelier - delivers its first production of the spring semester with Jean Racine's "Britannicus." The play should be thrilling, even for people who don't speak French. First, it takes place in the Art Museum, and second, it's about everyone's favorite depraved Roman emperor: Nero! "Britannicus" examines in fascinating detail Nero's descent from virtuous emperor to paranoid monster. Goodness. What is it with depressing shows in foreign languages this weekend?

Kris Kristofferson
Feb. 27, 8 p.m.
McCarter Theatre
Performing this Friday at McCarter is a true American legend: Kris Kristofferson. Singer, actor, writer and all-around cultural icon, Kristofferson has been releasing critically-acclaimed albums since the '60s and was a member of the country super-group The Highwaymen along with such legendary musicians as Willie Nelson and Johnny Cash. Music isn't all he's known for, though. Kristofferson's rugged features have been a regular presence on movie screens, in everything from "Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid" to "Blade." Should be a mesmerizing two hours.
Outside the Bubble
David Byrne
Feb. 27 and 28, 8 p.m.
Radio City Music Hall, New York
The former Talking Heads front man takes to the stage not once but twice this weekend, performing a selection of his solo work along with, hopefully, a few Heads classics (because we all know that would be far, far, far, far better). Anyone who's ever seen his wildly unhinged performance in the classic video for "Once In A Lifetime" should already be in line to get tickets: Byrne may look and sound like a nerd, but he knows how to get down.
Van Morrison
Feb. 27 and 28, 8 p.m.
Madison Square Garden, New York
High on any list of great rockers, Van Morrisson has crafted a unique musical path, never really caring whether people were listening to him or not. Van the Man, as he's known to his legion of fans, has dipped his foot into everything from blue-eyed soul to jazz, but I'm sure it's classics like "Brown-Eyed Girl" and "Gloria" that everyone will be waiting for this weekend.