Americans finally take back reins of 'Prince'

After three years of shamelessly outsourcing their administration to India and China, terrified staff members at The Daily Princetonian have finally thrown off the tyrannical shackles of foreign rule in an attempt to revitalize the U.S. newspaper industry. Breaking with recent trends, ‘Prince’ staffers elected an American male this year as editor-in-chief of their 132nd managing board.

Jonathan “I guess I AM supposed to be here tonight” Zebrowski ’09 is at the helm of the paper this year. Between spending 70-plus hours a week in the newsroom, working as an EMT to save lives and attempting to complete pre-med requirements, Zebrowski is well-positioned to make his mark on the ‘Prince’ — and the red couch — during his tenure.

Helping him keep his sanity intact will be managing editors Ilya “sent from my BlackBerry” Blanter ’09 and Angela “don’t call me, I’ll call you” Cai ’09. They promise to answer their e-mail instantly in bullet-point format while providing comprehensive coverage of campus issues.

Juniors Lisa “Béndélé” Bendele, Kate “redheads, the next generation” Carroll, Tatiana “Steinbergwitzman” Lau, Catherine “not Cathy” Mevs and Maxwell “muscles” Weidmann will be assisting in news.

Michael “I can has kidney?” Juel-Larsen ’09 heads up the opinion section, becoming the first person in recent memory to have worked in four departments. Barry “Bartholomew” Caro ’09 will be helping him decide whose viewpoints readers should be subjected to, while Ken “back from Oxford” Schwartz ’09 guides the ‘Prince’s’ opinions as the chair of the editorial board.

Mike “can I please edit now?” Shapiro ’09 will be in charge of bridging the gap between print and web content while responding to panicked requests to figure out dp2007. Garrett “unilateral midnight launch” Marcotte ’10 will actually coordinate everything about the website that requires even the slightest amount of technical knowledge.

Sports is sticking with its tried and tested strategy of having trinities in charge with Jennifer “cuddles” Hart ’09, Jake “High Life” Miller ’09 and Jason “Frist cookie monster” Wu ’09.

Street continues to pick its talent young with Sarah “gossip girl” Hogarty ’10 and Isia “EEEsha” Jasiewicz ’10 running the section every week, ably assisted by Naomi “word on the street” Nix ’10.

Sara “j’aime des choses et d’autres choses” Hastings '09 will crack the whip over in copy to ensure that the ‘Prince’ never again labels a team the cream of the crap.

Anant “Slavic” Kumar ’09 and Alex “money” Sun ’09 will head up the design department, ensuring that there are no green lines in the paper and that the double-dot rule is always followed. Michelle Chen ’09 and Margaret Dunlay ’09 will lend them creative support in the middle of their busy schedules of jetting around the world

Photo veterans Dan “I wanna be in the newsroom” Hayes-Patterson ’09 and Shinjae “graphics queen” Won ’09 will fill the paper with color and the website with meticulously captioned slideshows in the upcoming year. They are joined by newbies Jason Chua ’10, Jonathan Goh ’11, Zachary Ruchman ’10 and Woongcheol Yang ’10.

Down the hall, Yao Wang ’09 will be taking care of business and working overtime.