Top Five References Not to Use When Hitting on Freshmen, Otherwise the Only Dating You Will Be Doing Is Yourself:
5. Bo Jackson's ungodly foot speed in Tecmo Super Bowl 4. Pepsi Cool Cans 3. B-drives/Windows 3.1 2. The California Raisins 1. Michael LohmanTop Four Bill Nye Song Parodies:
4. "Smells Like Air Pressure" by Nyevana. Best line: "Now it's changing, air pressure, creates lift that we can measure." 3. "Blood Stream" by AB+. Best line: "Say what? Circ-u-lation." 2. "The Faster You Push Me" by Momentisey. Best line: "Weight is such a central part of momentum, whether you care or do not." 1. "Two Eyes" by the Eye Doctors. Best line: "Two eyes come with every baby, they're in your head now."Top Three Frank Miller Jokes I Couldn't Work in This Quarter:
3. Something about Spartans inventing the Bowflex. 2. Something about other Ivies not adopting grade deflation because Dean of the College Nancy Malkiel's emissaries were kicked into a pit while Lawrence Summers shouted, "This ... is ... HAHVAHD!" 1. Something about a Frank Miller adaptation of SimCity2000 where you can build hydroelectric plants powered by the ever-flowing blood of your vanquished enemies.Top Two Easiest Midterms:
2. CLA 219: Are you Spartacus? Why or why not? 1. MUS 103 [oral exam]: Clap your hands, say yeah.Hottest Brand of POGs for Enjoying This Weekend's Cool, Crisp Weather and/or Fall Break:
1. The Weather Guy's Signature Fall POG Collection.Read More
Reunions, Commencement see isolated demonstrations as U. tightens protest warnings
Calvin Kenjiro Grover and Luke GrippoAt this year’s Reunions and Commencement, the University sought to get ahead of any potential demonstrations by exhaustively emphasizing its policies around protests and interruptions, including that those who disrupted an event could face arrest. However, there were only a few Pro-Palestine protest actions, all of them sparsely attended.
At this year’s Reunions and Commencement, the University sought to get ahead of any potential demonstrations by exhaustively emphasizing its policies around protests and interruptions, including that those who disrupted an event could face arrest. However, there were only a few Pro-Palestine protest actions, all of them sparsely attended.
Princeton awards 1,293 degrees to the Class of 2025 as speakers reference political headwinds
Maya MukherjeeReunions and graduation speakers referenced the tense political climate around higher education, adding urgent undertones — and sometimes overtones — to otherwise standard ceremonial speech fare.
Reunions and graduation speakers referenced the tense political climate around higher education, adding urgent undertones — and sometimes overtones — to otherwise standard ceremonial speech fare.
Joseph ’25 next Young Alumni Trustee in 21 percent turnout election
Vitus LarrieuGil Joseph ’25 won the Young Alumni Trustee election, which saw 21 percent turnout. Joseph, Stephen Padlo ’25 and Ben Wachspress ’25 competed in the final round of elections after advancing from a notably large primary in April.
Gil Joseph ’25 won the Young Alumni Trustee election, which saw 21 percent turnout. Joseph, Stephen Padlo ’25 and Ben Wachspress ’25 competed in the final round of elections after advancing from a notably large primary in April.