If you're an avid fan of sloth, gluttony, greed, lust, envy, pride or wrath — the seven deadly sins — get ready for a hot, tortured eternity. In the interest of gauging Princeton's spiritual wellbeing, this week Dan Pall '08 asked our university's sinners: "When was the last time you committed one of the seven deadly sins, and what was it?"
Pall is proud to report that he recently hit for the proverbial cycle (of the damned) while watching a recent episode of "Deal or No Deal?" Perched upon his lazy derriere and stuffing his face with a morbidly succulent Fat Lady sandwich, he screamed at the show's contestant to win more money. He simultaneously lusted after the show's 26 gorgeous female assistants. Yikes; five of seven! He's on fire ... in hell!
Jon Ullman '08:
"Some combination of lust and greed. Last week at the Colonial poker tournament, there was a cute girl at my table that I figured I should flirt with. She was low on chips so I figured I should do something stupid to double her up and buy myself some time, but I ended up knocking her out of the tournament on a 19-to-1 shot. God set me straight on that one."
Tom Haine '08:
"Sloth — I hit the snooze button for an hour and 45 minutes this morning ... with my roommate trying to sleep in the same room."
Jamie Ausborn '08:
"Gluttony at Mathey Dining Hall. Mmmm, beef cake sandwich."
Geoffrey Hamilton '08:
"Sloth--I haven't managed to attend a full week of classes yet this year."
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