Use Your Illusion, and congrats Swedes

Before we begin today, I'd like to congratulate the Swedish women's curling team for capturing not only the gold medal, but also our hearts. Guys, they've got classical Scandinavian pulchritude and the ability to throw a 45 pound slab of granite a hundred feet with an accuracy of plus or minus a quarter inch — what more can you want? Ladies, if you habitually read college newspapers from the Northeastern U.S., call me. If you use 10-10-220, a twenty-minute phone call is only 99 cents, and just seven cents a minute after that.

I hope that curling, ice dancing (fun fact: ice dancers are required to meet a critical sequin density threshold of 50 sequins per square centimeter), and their ilk have spiritually prepared you for more frigid temps. Hey, if Axl can bring back G 'n' R 15 years after Use Your Illusion, it's no stretch of the imagination that cold returns in a mere week. A front clears New Jersey on Saturday, again bringing chilly and breezy conditions overnight. So wear an insulating layer of thick, colorful flannel to the Street: it's the Richard Karn way. Be aware, however, that Sunday night is even colder. Precipitation-wise, expect a chance of light rain or snow Saturday morning, followed by periodic snizzle (which is a real actual meteorological term meaning snow drizzle) in the afternoon and overnight.

While snizzle is a relatively innocuous phenomenon, it is probably best known for an incident at the 1998 VMA's in which Snoop Dogg suffered a fatal error in his internal operating system while attempting dangerous further -izzolation of this word during the presentation of a Lifetime Achievement Award to Zakk Wilde. As a result of this imbroglio, Snoop, who experienced 17 consecutive hours of the notorious blue screen of death, underwent the manual factory reset in which "Doggy" was permanently excised from his name.