The snows of Tilghmanjaro

One reality of Princeton life is the legendarily insular Orange Bubble, a semipermeable membrane surrounding campus that causes dispatches from the outside world to reach your average student about the same time as tribal warlords in Northern Waziristan. In this sense, Princeton is similar to the hermetically-sealed ecosystem featured in 1996's seminal Bio-Dome, although — and this is a significant difference, I can't stress that enough — Pauly Shore has been thoughtfully sealed outside.

But naturally, weather is the one force with sufficient awesomeness to puncture the Bubble every time, and now, like the German Sixth Army outside Stalingrad in December 1942, we find ourselves immobilized by winter's harsh grip. That is not unusual for this time of year: Including yesterday's couple of inches, significant snowstorms have occurred three of the last four December 5's. That's a little secret Princeton knowledge for you, just like the fact that pressing A, B, A, B, Up, Down, Left, Left, Start, Start, Select while enrolling in SCORE will turn off Malkielian grade deflation policies for your next semester ... oh no, I've said too much! (I haven't said enough.)

Anyway, expect bone-rattling cold through Thursday, with highs in the lower 30s and lows in the upper teens. The next snow chance is late Friday, with around two fresh inches probable. There's also some possibility of a blockbuster winter event early next week. At this point, I'd say that scenario is our Secret Square, possible if things come together right but not especially likely. However, as your attorney, I advise you to take Bruce Vilanch for the block.