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Ain't no sunshine in this town

Like sand grains running through the hourglass, such are the rainy days of our lives. Fresh off a weekend cruelly punk'd by just over four and a half inches of rain, one might realistically hope for more irenic skies this week. Unfortunately, if I had to compress this week's forecast into a single succinct "Family Guy" reference, it would be ... IT'S GON' RAIN.

Thanks, Ollie. A very active and complex pattern entrenched over the eastern United States will persist this week, with a slow-moving low offshore throwing abundant moisture back over New Jersey as northeasterly winds trap cold air at the surface. Translation? Highs every day this week will struggle to reach the upper 50s, an additional 3-5" of rain will turn sidewalks into rivulets and the sunshine will disappear like a Boeing 747 under the tutelage of David Copperfield. If I had to take a stab at it, I would say that the heaviest rain will fall Tuesday night into Wednesday morning, but I'm not gonna lie: the whole week looks extremely sketchy.

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It would seem the cosmos is meting out some karmic balance after a September that was one of the warmest and driest on record. However, looking ahead to the longterm forecast, a dome of high pressure should stop the madness and kick the nasty weather out to sea. So take heart: fall resplendence should return in time for next weekend.

In the meantime, try to remember that things could be worse. On January 15, 1919, a rapid change in temperature caused a two-million gallon tank of molasses to explode in Boston, unleashing a 30 foot high wave of the viscous sweetener that ravaged numerous city blocks and killed 21 people. So, while there are many miles to go before we sleep, at least our torrents are just plain old water.

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