Editor's Note: Daily Princetonian weather personality Ryan Truchelut was unable to write today's weather column due to injuries sustained in a tragic collision with the Beautiful Truck. While there is every indication he should recover fully from this unfortunate ASCII-dent (sorry), this weekend's forecast will instead feature the lyrical stylings of Guest Forecaster MC Hammer.
Stop! Weather time!
That's word, Princeton, you should have known I was much too legitimate to allow the haze of cultural irrelevance and insolvency to obfuscate my multifaceted genius for long. And while today's music industry is foolishly no longer receptive to my danceably smooth beats and I don't dine with jewel-encrusted cutlery as in days gone by, that doesn't mean Hammer isn't back to rock a new millennium, meteorologically. Yo, it's time to bust this funky forecast.
On Friday, expect highs in the mid 80s with extensive cloudcover. There is a slight chance of afternoon rain showers, but you should be able to easily evade them if you try, just like how I evaded my federal income taxes in fiscal years 1990 through 1997. For Saturday, expect the coolest weather yet this fall, with abundant sunshine and highs only popping and locking their way into the low 70s.
At this point, let's pause for a minute and all do the bump. Bump, bump, bump, yeah!
Sunday is another pleasant day, although expect mostly cloudy conditions in the afternoon. It will also be fairly windy, so it might not be such a good idea to wear rhinestone-laden parachute pants.
In national weather, Hurricane Rita looks to make landfall as a strong Category 4 over or just east of Galveston, Texas. While this is a horrible situation, Houston residents should rest assured knowing that MC Hammer Global Ministries stands ready to distribute complimentary food, water, and copies of my underrated 1994 hip-hop gem The Funky Headhunter to victims. For some reason, I have a lot of those lying around.
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