Twas the night before Dean's Date, When throughout every college Students were furiously typing, Spewing late-gotten knowledge. For the previous week, They'd been in trivial pursuit — A little book learning A lot of Beirut! Computer clusters were packed, The printers were jammed, Eager email-checkers Rifled through spam. Jane from Miami Yearned to be my friend. But could she help write a paper? Make the dread deadline bend? Eight pages by morning On a book I'd not read: A task which produced Well-deserved jolts of dread. At "Grapes of Wrath" I'd not taken one look, The formulaic response: "CliffsNotes" + movie = book. Through my cinder block walls I heard wailing, sensed tears From orgo-crazed premeds And from poor engineers! When what to my wondering eyes Should appear? A forgotten assignment And with it, new fear; A French oral report Had been overlooked. How could this be? My night was well overbooked. Now Bogan! Now West! On Fleming! On White! If to love them is wrong I don't want to be right; But the work they've assigned? Tantamount to a sin! Wherefore Princeton's promise: The hard part's getting in? Those damned disciplined students Were snugly nestled in bed. Why can't I be more like them? Am I worthy, Dean Fred? I knew unless I got started My paper would bomb. So I digressed for an hour To Thefacebook.com. Then away to the 'Wa I flew like a flash, Needing caffeine and munchies For this pre-Dean's Date dash. Though things looked quite grim, I mantra-ed, "I am a fighter." And embarked with false hope On a wretched all-nighter. Victimized yet again By my procrastination, And to make matters worse, Here comes grade deflation. But my one cheering thought Made me sort of elated: How can one deflate What's already deflated?
The night before Dean's Date
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