Up against a wall, Penn will respond

Let's get it out of the way right up front.

I know that Penn lost to Yale and Brown. I am also fully aware of the fact that Princeton has yet to lose an Ivy League game.

But the last time the Quakers headed to Princeton with their backs against the wall, 2000-01, they went on to demolish the Tigers, 62-38, en route to an Ancient Eight title.

With that out of the way, let the glorious bashing of Princeton begin.

Princeton has a lot going for it. After all, it's located in New Jersey and has one hell of a provost, at least for the time being.

Despite my Garden State roots, I can't find many more flattering things to say about the former College of New Jersey.

It hasn't been the best of years for Princeton alumni.

Bill Bradley's endorsement of Howard Dean has truly done wonders.

And remember when it was cool to tell your friends that Brooke Shields went to your school?

Penn alum Donald Trump, on the other hand, finds himself atop the Nielsen Ratings with The Apprentice.

But let's get back to basketball.

I was ready to concede that the Tigers looked impressive in Ivy play until Harvard — currently ranked 311th in Division I — took them to double-overtime. Despite the extra sessions, Princeton managed just 58 points.

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The previous night, Penn scored 55 points in just one half against the Crimson. The Quakers went on to score 104 points, winning not only the game, but free cheesesteaks for everyone in attendance.

This got me thinking: When was the last time Princeton broke the century mark?

The number one song at the time was the classic Tony Orlando and Dawn tune Knock Three Times, women were not allowed to enroll at Princeton and Tigers coach John Thompson III was a 4-year-old.

It was Feb. 26, 1971 — coincidentally the birth date of Erykah Badu — when the once-exciting Tigers scored a whopping 108 against Yale.

Despite their 226th most challenging schedule in the nation this season, Princeton has failed to score more than 86 points. But to the Tigers' credit, their strength of schedule doesn't include a game against feared national powerhouse Southern Vermont — you might remember them from Division III.

While Princeton fans will point out the team's 11-6 record, those 11 wins came against opponents with an average RPI of 233. That's the equivalent of beating Southern Utah 11 times.

Sure Princeton fans will argue that they scheduled tough teams like current No. 1 Duke and No. 22 Oklahoma. In fact, the Tigers were competitive with these teams to the very end.

But for every "almost" against a top-ranked team, I can cite similarly close losses to the vaunted UC-Irvine Anteaters and the Lafayette Leopards, a team Penn beat by 20 points.

Princeton's certain defeat tonight can also be attributed to the loss of two key players.

First, the team will be missing Rhodes Scholar Spencer Gloger. At a school notorious for inflated marks, his grade point average was lower than the number of times he's transferred — two. Gloger failed out of Princeton in the middle of last season, and though he is not rejoining the team, has re-enrolled for the spring semester.

But an even more shocking blow to the orange and black has been the departure of 2001 Ivy League Rookie of the Year Konrad Wysocki. Arguably one of the 50 greatest players named Wysocki in basketball history, the big man's good looks, charm and 6.2 points per game are simply irreplaceable.

So despite Penn's Ivy hiccups to start the season, I am more than confident that the Red and Blue will come home from Princeton's airplane hangar, or "gym" as some like to call it, with a win.

This may not be the same Penn team as last year, but some things never change: We're still that much better than you.

And by the way, make sure you let us know the time of your NIT game so we can TiVo it while we are away at the tournament.