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Nude Olympics return to Princeton on Dean's Date

An old sport has once again been revived at Princeton.

Last night, the Nude Olympics returned to Princeton University. Since the first snow fall of the year occurred over Winter Break, University officials decided to hold the Olympics, banned in 1999 but brought back this year for the 30-year anniversary of the event, at 5 p.m. on Dean's Date.

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Despite the lack of snow on the ground, the University justified the event because of the extreme cold. For effect, the University's service staff brought in ice from campus dining halls, the ice rink, and the cryogenics laboratory, housed in the basement of Sanford Hall.

While the University banned the Olympics five years ago because of cases of sexual assault, public drunkenness, and frozen testicles, the Olympics resumed as good as new behind Cannon Club, which suspended operations in 1969 and now houses the University's writing program.

While Borough Police showed up at around 6 p.m., according to several athletes, as nude participants made their way to the eating clubs for dinner, they were unable to arrest anyone. Several policemen were reported taking photographs of nude participants, however, according to one credible source.

Event organizers Alana Evans and Alex Dane instituted several new events for what they hoped would be a new and improved version of the Olympics. Events, in which the Class of 2004 contested against the Class of 2005, included a keg toss and the naked dash, which led up to the biggest event of the night, the Pentathlon, in which junior Hans Garron took the lead early in the first event, the trench swim, and held on through the hill jump to take the win.

Other events were held earlier in the evening. In the wheelbarrow race, the junior duo of Shannyn Allison and Xochi Sanchez managed to edge out the senior team in a photo finish. However, in the Eliminator, in which male members of each class had to hold their genitalia in a glass of ice cold water, senior Austin Starkweather took gold, pushing the Class of 2004 to the overall win.

After the contest, a visibly shrunk Starkweather celebrated his victory in style.

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"Dude, my unit is friggin' freezing! At least there are plenty of hot chicks around to warm me up," he said.

At the time of print, Nassau Hall was still speechless in regards to last night's events.

An idea is born

Evans and Dane, both juniors, decided to lobby the administration to bring back the Nude Olympics after threatening to transfer to Wesleyan.

"I think the human body is a beautiful, beautiful thing," Evans said. "And, quite frankly, there is no outlet for physical expression on this campus."

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Evans, a former dancer with Body Hype and Expressions, teamed up with Dane, a Yugoslav immigrant who formerly worked on the underground teenage sex scene in Eastern Europe, and pitched her idea to University President Shirley Tilghman.

The president was initially opposed to the idea, but then admitted she would add support for the event and bring it to the Trustees if the organizers could validate the event with an historical explanation.

Though the Nude Olympics were officially founded in 1970, Dane insisted that the actual 30 year celebration of the event was 2004, as there were four years in which the event was postponed because of no snow.

At a champagne brunch in the spring of last year, an inebriated Board of Trustees "ate up the idea," a visibly proud Evans recalled.

"It was weird, a bunch of them started pouting about how you only go to college once, and depriving us of expressing ourselves and enjoying life was a deprivation of our rights as American citizens," Evans said.

For amateur video of the Nude Olympics, please see http://www.dailyprincetonian.com/olympics.