Margolin takes presidency with speech of year's goals

Matt Margolin '05 was coronated yesterday, officially taking the reins of power from outgoing USG president Pettus Randall '04 in a ceremony in Nassau Hall. During the ceremony, Randall passed along the official USG gavel along with several other tools.

In a five-hour-long speech, Margolin went on to lay out his plans for the coming year. "We want a USG of action," he said. "That's why I plan to take concrete action on the critical issues students face today. I've heard the voice of the people, and what they're interested in is establishing more committees, passing resolutions and talking about stuff."

"As head tool, I mean USG president, the crappy administrations we had under Nina and Pettus will be a thing of the past," Margolin said. He said other things too, but not before this reporter fell asleep.

After the speech, Randall objected angrily to Margolin's characterization of his administration as "crappy." "I did a lot of things, like, affirmative action, and like, athletes, and girls and stuff, right Jacqui?" Randall said, smiling, knowingly at outgoing USG vice president Jacqui Perlman '05.

"Pettus, just shut up and let me do the talking," Perlman replied.

Asked to comment on the incoming USG administration, President Tilghman replied, "Matt Margolin? Who's Matt Margolin? I thought I appointed a woman to that position."

Incoming USG vice president Shaun Callaghan '06 defended his proposal for a living wage for USG staffers, arguing, "USG members spend a lot of time talking for very little reward. Its not like we get special seats at the fall and spring concerts or anything," he said.

William Robinson '04, leader of the new administration's transition team and former Undergraduate Life Committee chair, reported that all of the M keys had been removed from computer keyboards in the USG office, an apparent effort to imitate the removal of W keys from White House keyboards before that other president, George W. Bush, took office.

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"This sort of vandalism indicates a lack of respect for others," Robinson said. "That's why I'm proposing that all incoming students be required to sign a 'Social Honor Code' pledging not to remove keys from computer keyboards."

Margolin's now vacant position on the U-Council will be taken by former U-Councilor David Gail '03. Gail, who lost the USG presidency to Nina Langsam, is returning from a failed run for the vice deputy alderman of Plainsboro, N.J. "I guess the Nantucket red pants didn't play well in the real world," he said.

In other USG news, social chair Christoph Geisler '04 announced that he had dropped rock band U2 from the spring concert in favor of an improvisational electronic drumming group from Kazakhstan.

"We could have muddled through with U2, but what this campus really needs is some more improvisational electronic stuff. Dropping U2 was an easy decision once we heard these guys were available," he said. This is the Daily Princetonian's annual joke issue. Don't believe everything you read on the internet.