F. Scott Fitzgerald's 'Maxim'-esque Profile

THE FACTS

Name: Francis Scott Fitzgerald '17 Hometown: St. Paul, Minn. What's so great about Princeton? "First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you." What's not so great about Princeton? "The inhabitants have been so long out of the world that, though they make a show of keeping up to date in dress and manners and literature, they depend to a great extent on hearsay." — "The Diamond as Big as the Ritz" Favorite movie: "A good one-reel comedy in the moving-picture machine." — "The Diamond as Big as the Ritz" Best place to meet girls in your town: "Cottage, an impressive melange of brilliant adventurers and well-dressed philanderers." — "This Side of Paradise" Even better place to make out: "Quiet halls with an occasional late-burning scholastic light." — "This Side of Paradise" What did you do over Fall Break? "After a day without food I began to grow hungry. As I was without my rifle, I was forced to pursue a squirrel." — "The Diamond as Big as the Ritz" Favorite pickup line: "I hear you were seen running through Portugal in used B.V.D.'s, chewing ground glass and collecting material for a story about boule players; that you were publicity man for Lindbergh; that you have finished a novel a hundred thousand words long consisting entirely of the word 'balls' used in new groupings; that you have been naturalized a Spaniard, dress always in a wineskin with 'zipper' vent and are engaged in bootlegging Spanish Fly between St. Sebastian and Biarritz where your agents sprinkle it on the floor of the Casino. I hope I have been misinformed but, alas! it all has too true a ring." — A letter from Fitzgerald to Hemingway On New Jersey's social life: "In a few days I'll have lived one score and three days in this vale of tears. On I plod — always bored, often drunk, doing no penance for my faults — rather do I become more tolerant of myself from day to day, hardening my crystal heart with blasphemous humor and shunning only toothpicks, pathos, and poverty as being the three unforgivable things in life." — A letter

THE LOWDOWN

Girls with literary ambitions will love to get a love letter from this aspiring author. A busy boy, he writes for the Princeton Triangle Club, the Princeton Tiger and the Nassau Literary Magazine. He also plays a little football on the side. Don't let his industriousness fool you, though; he's a party animal who loves a wild night of wine, women, and jazz. One warning before you fall for this canonic Casanova: he's been seen in the company of a looker named Zelda. Also, art is his mistress. But as you can see, he's worth pursuing for his looks alone, from his stylish high heels to his perfectly coiffed locks.