Valentine's Day — allegedly the most romantic day of the year — is upon us. The holiday can stir up a whole range of emotions, depending on one's relationship status. Below are some suggestions for movies currently in theaters that are sure to suit your mood with or without Cupid tonight.
The Bitter, Recently (How Can I Put This Nicely...?) Dumped
If Cupid's arrow feels more like a knife sticking out of your back this Valentine's Day, grab a good friend and catch "The Count of Monte Cristo." Without a doubt, this flick is a cheesy interpretation of Alexander Dumas' classic novel. Try to ignore the fact that the novel takes place in France, yet everything is in English (odd, randomly accented English at that). I would guess that if you've read the book you'll be especially disappointed. But, for those embittered with betrayal, this tale of vengeance fits the bill for your recent mood and gives hope that, in the end, things will work out.
What? It's Valentine's Day?
If February 14th has no more significance to you than your fifth cousin's birthday, consider checking out "Collateral Damage." With a plot eerily similar to the events of 9/11, this completely un-romantic movie has stirred up a great deal of controversy about the appropriateness of its release. Between this debate, the film's plot twists and Arnold Schwarzenegger's somewhat lacking (but typical) role as a firefighter who takes on the terrorists responsible for his wife and son's deaths, you are guaranteed to have something much more interesting to talk about on the way home than February's honorary Hallmark holiday.
Unrequited Love Got You Down?
Then "Slackers" is a must-see to snap you out of that stalker mood you've been feeling lately. A few minutes of a character who refers to himself as "Cool Ethan" and his female obsession will make you realize that following your crush around with a lint roller to make a hair doll out of what he/she leaves behind is psycho and not at all cool. It is a guaranteed laugh from start to finish. While some may say that all of the funny parts are in this college-aged comedy's trailer, this esteemed critic of adolescent comedy will vouch for the movie's hilarity.
Robbing the Cradle?
If your boyfriend or girlfriend still has to get permission to see an R-rated movie from his/her parents, go for the PG Valentine's Day and see "Big Fat Liar." Frankie Muniz (Malcolm from "Malcolm in the Middle") stars in this cute flick targeting the pre-pubescent crowd. The moral deals with the importance of honesty, but the lesson is presented in a very interesting way. The jokes definitely fit the rating, but with the mindset of someone dating young'un and the blue guy from the commercials (played by Paul Giamatti in what can be called nothing less than a spastic performance), this is the right choice for this night of passion. Just keep it legal, please.
Practically Married
Some advice: if you're really in this category and think a trip to the AMC Hamilton is going to fit the bill tonight, you may soon be joining the recently relationship-less for next week's matinée! Get creative — if it must involve a movie, at least make it a private, imaginative blockbuster night with a sweet romantic comedy, and maybe add some candles for ambiance as you snuggle up tonight.
Whatever your Valentine's Day status may be — single, unsure, joined at the hip or anywhere in between — have fun picking the perfect movie to watch. Think outside the heart drawn around many a romantic film, and find something unique to complement any relationship you may be in.