Dear Dr. Blaine: Where have you been the last few years? I remember reading your sagacious and altogether glorious column about three years ago, but I've heard nothing from you since then. Where've you been? — Zach A. Dear Zach: I have trouble believing this is anything but a mockery of this column, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. And just for the record, I am not a doctor of grammar, or else I would not have ended my sentence in a preposition. But back to the matter at hand, you are correct that I have been on hiatus. Three years ago, the column was created, but for one reason or another, the advice ran dry. Let's just say that Dr. Blaine is now back in full force and more than eager to answer your queries with insight and playful sarcasm. Next question? Dear Dr. Blaine: What sort of questions can I ask of you? — Beth C. Dear Beth: Pretty much whatever is on your mind. My ignorance stretches as far as the eye can see. Keep in mind that I don't actually know everything; I just act like I do. Next? Dear Dr. Blaine: I was wondering if you could tell me how to graduate with a 4.0? — David F. Dear David: This is inevitably going to be one of those "easy to say and hard to do" sort of answers, because, like it or not, a 4.0 is pretty hard to come by. Even with grade inflation on your side, if you're ending your eighth semester (actually, you probably did it in six) with a cumulative 4.0 GPA, you're ready for a life of anal-retentiveness and smug chuckles at everyone below you on the curve that is life. Just make sure to remember that there are grades in life that are not so easy to qualify, like average blood alcohol content or one's contempt for townies. Next, please. Dear Dr. Blaine: What do you think of the IM obsession sweeping college campuses and, more specifically, what effect does this have on the social makeup of Princeton? —Sari N. Dear Sari: First objection, questions like these make sociology actually seem like a science instead of a gut major. But in all seriousness, I'd like to think that IM is one of those social phenomenons that will have no real effect on the grander scheme, either adverse or positive. It's a medium for communication and maybe a reflection of the abhorrence of telephone conversations. Keep in mind that this column is only an excuse for bad advice and occasional nuggets of truth. Sort of like psychology. Next? Dear Dr. Blaine: Why are mullets so funny? — Terry M. Dear Terry: This is an intriguing question. The mullet hysteria has been growing since the end of Billy Ray Cyrus. There's something inexplicably bitchin' about the "business in the front and party in the back" look. The woman who cuts my hair once told me that she is guilty of having given a mullet and actually charging money for it, but all of her "mullet-clients" didn't seem much to mind. I say, "long live the mullet in all of it hickish glory!" Dear Dr. Blaine: How can I get in touch with you and your team of wise gnomes? — Alex A. Dear Alex: A very good question. I knew a kid named Alex Once, and we used to all tease him relentlessly for having a last name like Once. But in answer to your question, my lethargic-working team of misfits and malcontents can be enthusiastically reached at The Newsroom. We will print your question and my answer in Friday editions of Page 3. I promise not to be so irreverent next time, when I don't have to answer my own questions. Dear Dr Blaine: Can hate mail also be received at The Newsroom? — "Mullet-client" in Montana Dear "Mullet-Client:" Sorry, no. Only friendly and inquiring mail. — Jeremy Chan
Read More
David Zielenziger ’74, former ‘Prince’ chairman and lifelong journalist, passes away at 72
Kian PetlinFriends and colleagues remember former ‘Prince’ chairman David Zielenziger ’74, who passed away peacefully on May 20.
Friends and colleagues remember former ‘Prince’ chairman David Zielenziger ’74 who passed away peacefully on May 20.
Remembering Dorothea von Moltke, Labyrinth co-founder and local community builder
Lucia BrownDorothea von Moltke, widely considered the heart of Labyrinth Books, was remembered by friends and loved ones for her passions for language, literature, and local activism.
Dorothea von Moltke, widely considered the heart of Labyrinth Books, was remembered by friends and loved ones for her passions for language, literature, and local activism.
Cloister Inn to pause operations for the next 2–3 years, citing “hefty renovations”
Justus WilhoitCloister Inn, one of Princeton’s eating clubs, will pause operations for the next two to three years, due to “hefty renovations” to the club’s house.
Cloister Inn, one of Princeton’s eating clubs, will pause operations for the next two to three years, due to “hefty renovations” to the club’s house.