Football
The athletic department announced today that it will drop the football program in order to allow Princeton stadium's grass to grow.
"We thought that might help attendance," director of athletics Gary Walters said. "Grass is pretty; Ivy football is not. Maybe you're not excited now, but wait until Spring. That's when the growing starts."
Sadly, the football team had only just recently signed top offensive line recruit Grimace. The team suspected that the powerful blocker's commitment might lure good friend and talented defensive back The Hamburgler to the program.
Club sports
The NCAA has announced that it will begin its investigation of the women's club soccer team in what could swell into a massive doping scandal. Team captain George Garthwaite could not be reached for comment, leading some to be suspicious of her whereabouts.
'Prince'
Sports editors Andy Funk, Alex Iliff, Clark Thiemann and Sara Conrath have announced their retirement, effective following Monday's issue. Peace.
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Six for six: men’s and women’s track and field both complete triple crown
Luke StocklessMen’s and women’s track and field each won the Ivy League title this past weekend, capping off a dominant season in which both teams won the triple crown — a feat not seen in 14 years.
Men’s and women’s track and field each won the Ivy League title this past weekend, capping off a dominant season in which both teams won the triple crown — a feat not seen in 14 years.
Nation’s No. 2 miler Mena Scatchard ’25 to transfer to Stanford for graduate year
Luke StocklessThe Tigers’ most decorated distance runner ever has decided to use her final year of eligibility at Stanford after graduating from Princeton this May.
The Tigers’ most decorated distance runner ever has decided to use her final year of eligibility at Stanford after graduating from Princeton this May.
Two-way treats: Shenefelt and Kram do it all for Princeton baseball team
Joseph UglialoroThe baseball team features two players who hit and pitch, a rarity at the college level. Nick Shenefelt and Kaden Kram each took unique paths to playing both ways this season.
The baseball team features two players who hit and pitch, a rarity at the college level. Nick Shenefelt and Kaden Kram each took unique paths to playing both ways this season.