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Omkar Shende


oshende@princeton.edu
Head Copy Editor

Articles

U. squirrels form new union amid controversy from chipmunks

In a late vote Thursday night, over 500 squirrels voted to unionize and form Nutcrackers Local 522. The vote was marred by allegations leveled against organizers by chipmunks that accused the organizers of leaving them out of the process. These protests were discarded after attendants were reminded that it was time to hibernate. “CHEHEHEHEHE,” said one voter after all acorns had been counted. “CHEHCHEHEH HEHCHE! WHEHEHSHHEHEHWH!”