There is perhaps no way to accurately convey the experience of living with an eating disorder, but over the course of the past seven years the best way I have discovered to (concisely) convey the point has been to describe a pernicious “voice” that is simultaneously mine and not mine that whispers self-loathing offers of faux control into my consciousness. Eating disorders are even difficult to describe scientifically as a grouping, for they are a strange breed of disease with three distinct subsets —anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and binge eating disorder —that manifest differently. One thing that they share, however, is the capacity to ruin lives and to generate a range of related mental and physical illnesses; anorexia specifically has the highest mortality rate of any mental illness. They are borne from a whole host of factors working together, ranging from the micro level of possible genetic variations on individual chromosomes to the macro level of enormous societal pressures to achieve bodily “perfection.”
Recently, USG announced the imminent launch of the As I Am Campaign, intended to “start a discussion about these topics [of nutrition, body image and eating disorders] on campus, as well as to publicize campus resources available to help.” Students were allowed to anonymously submit stories of their own online and were also invited to take part in a photo campaign intended to promote a larger dialogue. The bulk of the project has yet to be publicized, but I am hopeful for its impact for a number of reasons.
For one, As I Am does not put forth lofty but unreasonable goals of eliminating the existence of eating disorders on campus altogether, however ideal that would be. By allowing information from registered dieticians in McCosh to be dissipated, however, this goal of a conversation and education can be achieved in a way that does not rely on the often-damaging reaches of the Internet and that gives support to friends and families of those suffering. Many such individuals, although well-intentioned, may take actions that might prove to be counterproductive —for instance, they might ask “Why don’t you just eat more/less?” or “Why don’t you just stop purging?” instead of simply letting their loved one know that they see them suffering and that they will support and listen to them. By generating a series of questions and answers, a more productive and supportive dialogue can commence between those suffering directly from the eating disorder and their friends, families and peers.
More salient, I think, is the fact that the component from McCosh adds a counter-balance to the mainstream portrayal of eating disorders that occurs most drastically on pro-eating disorder websites and in the wider media. Some of the literature I’ve read from survivors and some of my own work that I have written during and after my own battles tend to construct a dramatic narrative that neglects the clinical precision and monotony of it all. This dramatic narrative exists, yes, because the experience is one fraught with turbulence in everyday minutiae, but I think the flip side is just as important to convey. By offering “soundbites” of experiences, alongside more objective advice from professionals, a certain balance can perhaps be struck by the As I Am campaign. This duality of emotional expressiveness and objective reality could help to further elucidate the experiences of fellow students and engender a greater understanding of what it means to be suffering from an eating disorder. Such a degree of empathy cannot be understated, because that can be the key in prompting someone to reach out and seek help. The As I Am campaign cannot solve everything, nor can it create a universal understanding. But it’s a step in the right direction, and it’s about time this step is being taken.
For anyone who is suffering from an eating disorder, I encourage you to reach out to someone. Counseling and Psychological Services (CPS) can be reached to make an appointment at (609) 258-3285 from 8:45 to 4:45 Monday through Friday, and After-Hours Care is offered through the Infirmary 24/7. It can be reached at (609) 258-3139.
The National Eating Disorder Association also has a helpline that runs from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. Monday through Thursday and from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Fridays. Its number is 1-800-931-2237. Itswebsite also has links for those trying to seek outside help.
Both resources are also available for those seeking to help a loved one.
Kelly Hatfield is a sophomore from Medford, Mass. She can be reached at kellych@princeton.edu.
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