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Humor

In Defense of: No Snow Days

We thought winter would never come. But then it did. This Intersession, winter came with a vengeance — and serendipitously, there was not a snow day in sight.The forecast for Winter Storm Jonas was announced during the last week of fall finals, alerting students to the first heavy snow of the school year and forcing Floridians, such as myself, to quickly book flights back home before the storm arrived.

HUMOR | 02/03/2016

Headliners and Headshakers

Third Wintersession offers many classes to students, "Jonas: The IMAX 4D Winter Experience" among them Updated: Snowstorm strikes campus the one week without school Historical Society of Princeton opens farm, reenacts historic Princeton agri-"culture" Princeton town to make Unicycle Master Plan with Schwinn input USG to initiate hoverboard share program, work on telling fewer Nickelback jokes for Lawnparties First round sign-in ends, ICC not releasing numbers but the truth is out there

HUMOR | 02/03/2016

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Headliners and Headshakers

Cruz ’92 proposes dissolution of IRS at presidential debate, proposes annual tribute of insincere folksiness instead Whig-Clio Tiger statues vandalized yet again, as sacred guardians of Cannon Green, the Tigers demand sacrifice in retribution Trick-or-Feed raises $7,601, collects 760 non-perishable items, and 76 slightly creased Ivy passes on Princetoween UMatter, TigerTransit to provide nighttime weekend bus service, with a monorail in the pipeline Analysis shows Frist, Murray-Dodge most popular places for free food distribution; proves that learning R was good for something Princeton Neuroscience Network approved as official, 24/7 neuro service dedicated to finding missing or malfunctioning brains

HUMOR | 11/11/2015

Headliners and Headshakers

13 incidences of hand, foot and mouth disease diagnosed on campus; Meningitis B supposedly overcome, the medieval plague begins anewNeither News nor Notes: Princeton ranked best college town of 2015, according to company no one has ever heard ofMost students comfortable with new rifle policy; calls for Red Ryder carbine-action BB gun this ChristmasAvalonBay construction halted due to on-site contamination; Hand, foot and mouth disease unearthedNJ Transit begins #RudeZone campaign; all rude passengers required to self-segregate from general populationLocal radio station WPRB celebrates 75th anniversary; quietly playing hipster music for old people since 1940

HUMOR | 10/21/2015