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The University is instituting a campaign to purge itself of all documents, statements and expressions that do not meet University standards of political correctness.
After achieving stratospheric success in the realm of basketball during the 2014-15 season, women’s basketball head coach Courtney Banghart has decided to part ways from the team she took to a 31-1 record last season. She has signed a contract to begin coaching The Daily Princetonian dodgeball team in preparation for the annual University Dodgeball Tournament this coming April.
After celebrating his 50th Reunion this past May, former men’s basketball star Bill Bradley ’65 decided he missed his beloved “Old Nassau” far too much to remain away for long. After much deliberation and discussion with his loved ones, Bradley has decided to return to Princeton for four more years, where he plans to star not just on the basketball court, but also on the football field.
Youcant Pokeme ’18, captain of the University club fencing team and Big Shot ’18, captain of the University rifle shooting team, were severely injured in a duel that occurred on Wednesday.
The undocumented migration of students from Forbes College to campus has become a highly prevalent topic in this year’s Undergraduate Student Government elections.
On paper, Jacob Ruijskman was a decorated University professor: a graduate of MIT’s economics program, who had co-authored papers on the Great Depression and the financial crisis and made contributions to applied game theory. He had taken on five advisees from the Class of 2016.
“Princeton Mom” Susan Patton ’77 will be partnering with former computer science majors from the University to create Yente, an app to partner college students together in matrimonial bliss.
Last week, the New York Jets fell to the Buffalo Bills under excessively strong winds, believed to be generated by fans stolen from the University by former Jets head coach, Rex Ryan.
The next Republican debate will feature a new format, that of a survival-of-the-fittest contest, CNBC moderator John Harwood said.
Fifteen hundred students were spotted walking around in squirrel onesies as part of a new protest to make squirrels the new mascot of the University.
After another dominant season in Ivy League play, the field hockey team came to a realization that it was actually just too good for the rest of the Ivies to handle, and as such will be forced to make provisions to actually give the other Ivy League teams a chance during league play.
Secret injection of trackers along with the meningitis vaccine has been identified as the cause for the painful post-meningitis-vaccine “meng arm” in freshmen, according to an investigation conducted by the Undergraduate Student Government.
The Daily Princetonian will be disbanding at the end of January following University spokesperson Martin Mbugua’s departure from the University, outgoing Editor-in-Chief Anna Mazarakis said.
The Princeton Police Department is training an elite squad of undercover policemen, known as “The Temperance 10,” to apprehend underage drinkers on campus and outside liquor stores in town.
The Undergraduate Student Government has instituted a new dress code stipulating new heights of preppification for University students.
Students at the University have convened in an “Occupy Princeton” protest against what they say is the undue expensiveness of the Orange Bubble.
Program in Theater Director and Lecturer Tim Vasen died in an accident at homeon Monday, according to an email from Lewis Center for the Arts Administrative Director Marion Young.
Event: Princeton Winter Market
1. Nomad Pizza roasting on an open fire
Princeton files plan for 446 units of affordable housing, wait, something will be affordable in Princeton?
