Even though midterms are all anyone can talk about right now, let’s all shut up for a second andlook forward to the approaching nationally-sacred holiday: Spring Break. There are those of youwho want to make this a particularly productive time in various ways, but we believe in realism, so behold your realitycheck:

The one who wants to get fit

The Dream: You hit the gym at least a few times every week during school. However,when you come back from Spring Break you want to shock every student, professor andsquirrel with your Jillian Michaels-inspired physique. In one week, you aim to transformyourself from a chubby ducking to a #flawless swan.

The Reality: Let’s be realistic. You’ll hit up your at-home treadmill for seven minutesmaximum, then fill out a Papa Johns order online as a reward for all your efforts. That is,unless you somehow injure yourself first. Ya doofus.

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view3/1921892/treadmill-fail-o.gif

The one who wants to catch up on work

The Dream: This may be the most admirable of all the Spring Break plans. On thiscampus it always feels like you’re behind on something, whether it's readings,homework, tests, social life, self-confidence, communication with family or whateverelse you’ve messed up recently. Spring Break is a one-week opportunity to get youracademic life together, and there’s no chance that’s going to waste.

The Reality: You’ll open a book on Plato’s theories or some nonsense and quickly fallasleep. When you wake up, you’ll convince yourself that you were a fool for trying to dowork when all you could ever want is at home. You’ll close those books, and get back tothe important things in life.

http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5cyhndR1S1rwcc6bo1_500.gif

The one who wants to travel

The Dream: Road trip! Camping! THE BEACH!!!! Nothing could possibly go wrongduring this week. You and your buddies/your family/randos/maybe just youhave planned every single detail to the T. You want this week to go down in history asone of the best experiences to ever happen ever, like in the movies and stuff.

The Reality: What were you thinking? After half an hour you discover that you’re just insome scary, foreign place. Everyone around you speaks a different language, and you didn't even leave the country.Maybe you lost you map/your GPS doesn’t work. Maybe you’re just plain tired and havetrouble adjusting to a non-Princeton Yik Yak zone. In any case, we all know this was abad idea.

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ma3g4zCYFi1rvc1g2.gif

The one who wants to spend time with family & friends

The Dream: They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, and boy is that true. Youwant to have a nice dinner featuring any and every family member in the vicinity, just soyou guys can catch up on how your lives have been. And you have to hang out with yourpre-Princeton friends to relive those good ol’ times. What’s better than being surroundedby those you love and who love you in return?

The Reality:Literally everything is better than hanging out with these people. Let’s face it, this“magical” dinner of yours is just going to be a copy of Thanksgiving, where someonewill be racist, someone will start crying and someone will get drunk (probably you).Your pre-Princeton friends will be fun for a hot second, but there’s a reason you haven’tstayed in touch since graduation.

http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2014-06/23/14/enhanced/webdr06/anigif_enhanced-buzz-29354-1403548196-24.gif

The one who does it right

The Dream: Wherever you are, you will immediately change into some sweatpants, letyour hair go wild, pull out some snacks, and binge-watch whatever your heart desires.You will ignore people (but at least say hi to your parents), probably gain weight, and sitaround pretending that there’s no such thing called “work-and-other-responsibilities-to-do-over-Spring-Break.”

The Reality: Specifically, you will binge House of Cards. Everything else is 100 percent accurate. Might as well call me a fortune-teller.

http://31.media.tumblr.com/4aebfa51874b628ef690a8f874998539/tumblr_n15vk4Bytj1qelb42o1_500.gif

Comments powered by Disqus