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After 200+ internship rejections, student to spend summer researching how to land internship

Glass building with wood doors. In the foreground, a sidewalk with snow.
Candace Do / The Daily Princetonian

The following content is purely satirical and entirely fictional.

After a disappointing internship application season, Princeton student Noe Jobs ’24 has decided to spend their summer conducting research on the art of applying to internships.


“It’s all about getting that perfect summer internship,” Jobs said. They will spend most of the summer researching the latest resume templates and experimenting with different cover letter formats. “I’m really excited to see how many extra buzzwords I can fit on my resume for this fall,” he continued. 

Woz Niak ’24, Jobs’s roommate, said, “They’ve already applied to over 200 internships in various industries, including finance, consulting, tech, and even the local ice cream parlor. We’re starting to get worried.”

“I'm just trying to keep up with my friends who get internships through their family connections,” Jobs said. “I know some people might think it's a waste of time, but I've got a growth mindset, and I’m not going to stop until I get that offer.”

Niak told The Daily PrintsAnything that Jobs has already received some rejection letters for next summer, but they remain undeterred in their mission to land a summer internship. 

In the meantime, Jobs plans to use this summer to work on their thesis, which they plan to title “Internship Rat Race: The Likelihood of Landing an Internship When Offering to Work for Free.”

Windsor Nguyễn ’25 is a COS B.S.E. concentrator and a Humor contributor. That’s it. That’s the whole byline.


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