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If you’re reading this your week is really not as bad as it could be

Presenting: a real-life, entirely crowdsourced University to-do list, in all its strangeness, sadness, and glory.

1. Crowdsource seven water kettles from various Forbesians.

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2. Take a bath in maple syrup because I lost a March Madness bracket challenge to my friend.

3. Text my parents to warn them that Tinder might spontaneously appear on their phones since I just used our shared account to download it. No, it’s for Cardi B, I swear. 

4. Some physical training. We're talking agility, strength and conditioning, hand-eye coordination, dodging, dipping, ducking, diving, and dodging. Dodgeball is happening, so watch yourself because my team is gonna full send.

5. Make sure I don’t do anything socially awkward for seven whole days.

6. Get anonymously featured in The Daily Princetonian for my to-do list.

7. Purchase two packs of ping-pong balls.

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8. Get my life together enough to make a comprehensive to-do list.

9. Actually follow aforementioned list.

10. Remind myself to water myself! (hydrate or die-drate!)

11. Scavenge hair ties because I came to Princeton with 120 hair ties, and they are now all on the floor of my dorm. This is a crisis.

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12. Respond to Anoushka’s strange to-do list emails.

13. Take a "me" day.