Mentoring at Princeton

It will not surprise anyone to hear that the majority of the freshmen whom I have met so far have been extremely —and understandably —anxious. I expected that they would be; I know it was certainly difficult and overwhelming for me to make the transition to college and to being surrounded by unfamiliar faces after years with the same people in middle and high school. What was interesting to me is that most of the freshmen I met would only admit to feelings of less than 100 percent glee with Princeton while speaking with me one-on-one or in a group with only other sophomores. Once the group expanded to include other freshmen, things shifted and everything became all sunshine and roses. That is why one of the most important aspects of Princeton is the way people from different class years can meet and mix because it gives freshmen in particular someone to talk to.

The dominant culture at Princeton favors a veneer of perfection. Everyone here was at the very top of their high school; they had the grades, and they led the extracurricular activities, and they probably spoke at graduation. Making the transition here —becoming the clueless freshman who does not know how things work and becoming, probably for the first time, completely average —can be a little rough. The easy and comfortable thing to do, particularly with fellow freshmen whom you want to impress, is to pretend that things are still the way they were in high school, that you are still comfortable and on top of the world. This starts to change a little as the year progresses and people start finding their real, close friends, but the transition period can be a little sticky.

This is where the older students come in. As a result of the University's relatively small population, it is virtually impossible to end up not having any classes or being involved in any activities with people in different class years than you. This sets up a perfect opportunity for freshmen to speak with other students who have been through the same experiences and lived to tell the tale. It is easier for freshmen to speak to people from other years because there is not a sense of comparison between freshmen and older students. Among freshmen, there can be a sense of comparison regarding how other people are holding up, leading to feelings of inadequacy if other people seem to be adjusting better or having less trouble with classes. But with older students, there is already an explanation for why they might be put together: They have had a year or more to sort things out. So because freshmen seem to feel a need to keep up a front around one another and do not seem to feel that need with older students, activities and classes where they befriend people from other years are invaluable. They provide an opportunity for freshmen to talk about the stress they are undeniably under, which is very new to them, without the pressure of speaking with someone much older. Although there are programs geared specifically toward providing this sort of relationship, such as the Princeton University Mentorship Program and the Woman’s Mentorship Program, about which I have heard good things, one of the benefits of Princeton is that you can build mentoring relationships organically just by doing what you are interested in and running into upperclassmen that way. This organic method is possibly more effective than participating in official mentoring organizations because it does not require people to go out of their way; that is, instead of having to schedule mentoring time, you can be mentored while doing the activities that you are already engaged in.

The environment at the University is undeniably stressful and fast-paced. Classes are difficult, and there is pressure to be highly involved in campus activities. Many students also work. But, even in the context of our overscheduled lives, we have an important resource —the Princeton community. One way we can make sure we are taking advantage of that community is to strengthen inter-class bonds. This is something that has to come from the students, not the University, because it requires us to take initiative. Older students in student-run activities should make a special effort to get to know the freshmen and to check in on them regularly —they are more likely to open up to us than anyone else. Freshmen should try and seek out older students in these same organizations and make an effort to reach out when they need help. The infrastructure is already there in that the small student population ensures we run into each other. It is important to make an effort to utilize that structure, especially for freshmen, but for older students as well.

Zeena Mubarak is a sophomore from Fairfax, Va. She can be reached at zmubarak@princeton.edu.