1. Eisgruber to review grade deflation policy; B+'s respond, "Hey man, I thought we were cool!"
2. UHS-approved methods of meningitis prevention include hand-washing, not looking Basilisk directly in the eye
3. Government still shut down; annoyingly, school is not
4. Princeton beats Columbia 53-7 in football game; Princeton cheerleaders temporarily lose use of arms
5. Eisgruber defends legacy admissions at alumni event, because what else can you say at an alumni event
6. Reports of gunshots fired in Nassau Hall still really not funny
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‘Magnitude 3.5 earthquake aftershock’ actually just caused by first-year merch drop
Sawyer DilksUpon further investigation, the University discovered that the cause was not seismic activity, but rather the Class of 2027 crewneck distribution that was taking place at the same time. In attendance were over 900 frosh, all crowded into the hallways of Frist Campus Center’s second floor.
Upon further investigation, the University discovered that the cause was not seismic activity, but rather the Class of 2027 crewneck distribution that was taking place at the same time. In attendance were over 900 frosh, all crowded into the hallways of Frist Campus Center’s second floor.
Heated political protest postponed due to poor weather conditions
Mya KoffieThe Princeton Students Against Major Unacceptable Political Issues canceled their latest protest. Their Instagram post announcing the change read, “on account of low-speed winds and 40 percent chance of rain forecasted for this afternoon, we will no longer be congregating around the SPIA fountain. We hope for better protesting weather later in the month. Please stay tuned for new dates.”
The Princeton Students Against Major Unacceptable Political Issues canceled their latest protest. Their Instagram post announcing the change read, “on account of low-speed winds and 40 percent chance of rain forecasted for this afternoon, we will no longer be congregating around the SPIA fountain. We hope for better protesting weather later in the month. Please stay tuned for new dates.”
Why didn’t the Easter Bunny visit me this year?
Sawyer DilksAs I threw open the blinds and peered into the courtyard, my perfect day was shattered by a starting revelation — there were no Easter Eggs to be seen.
As I threw open the blinds and peered into the courtyard, my perfect day was shattered by a starting revelation — there were no Easter Eggs to be seen.
