Climb your way to greater studying heights this spring

When I recently conducted my own professional text-poll of the masses concerning the best place to study outside this spring, I was met with some hostile responses: “Nowhere, cuz it’s still f*#@ing cold,” “Well, it’s still freezing, so this is dumb,” and “Inside the igloo I made since it’s snowing in this ‘springtime’ you speak of.” I’ll admit, it does seem to be a bit too chilly to be studying outside just yet, but I still think we ought to plan ahead. After all, when we’re finally blessed by that harsh Jersey sun, Alexander Beach and Whitman Quad’s lush grasses will be packed with Princeton’s bronzed beauties and you won’t have anywhere to go. And let’s be honest, the lawn behind Frist Campus Center is just an enormous vomit-bin for last night’s indecisive and nauseated McCosh patients; I think it’s time to get a bit more creative with where we choose to study outside.

Another, less snarky suggestion: “When it gets warmer possibly the roof outside my room haha.” Indeed, the sun-worshippers and/or exhibitionists among us may prefer the roofs of Blair or Butler. Both locales offer students great vantage points to people-watch and unobstructed access to copious sunshine while studying (well, the sunshine part will hopefully be here by Reading Period). Trust me, this campus is spectacular from a bird’s-eye view; students outside Fine Hall’s reclusive mathematics department deserve such a sight too! Beware though. The administration certainly isn’t too fond of students traveling between rooms through roof windows, and janitors have been known to snipe the most conspicuous students down for a write-up. Another word of caution: The tiles on those steep Gothic roofs are pretty unreliable. You don’t want to be that douche found sprawled, shirtless, and lifeless amidst his linear algebra materials because he wanted to get a tan while working up an academic sweat.

Yet another text suggested, “Balcony of cottage, oh wait that’s not safe…” So, for any other acrophiles out there, you may want to give the balcony behind Cottage Club a try. But then again, recent occurrences on Cottage balconies may discourage you from doing so. In any case, I would definitely try loitering around some eating clubs. Call me crazy, but I think setting up an orgo study group outside Ivy might be a convenient and efficient way to demonstrate your dedication to those Bicker chairs. Or maybe not at all. But it’s worth a try, right? And make your claims quick on the land outside Cannon Club; it’s a lovely property that’s pretty pristine compared to the clubs whose lawns have seen a bit too much action for the last century or so.

I’m personally partial to Mather Sundial, that pointy white thing on the raised platform between McCosh and the Chapel. It was a 1907 gift from Sir William Mather to symbolize the connections between Oxford University and Princeton, and it has since remained as a symbol of our school’s academic heritage. Although it used to be reserved exclusively for the seniors on campus, now even lowly freshman are allowed to sit in peace on its marble steps to soak up the sun and knowledge; it’s just so quintessentially Princeton.

What matters most is that spring is coming. Our spastic attention spans forbid us from being prisoners of Firestone any longer. And so, we must turn our attention outside, towards the dozens of stunning locales on this campus of ours. So get outside, study a little bit, throw some Frisbees, watch some people, and remember why you first decided to come to this place.