A task force report was released a few days prior to the announcement. USG president Mario Yarocart ’12 announced the results of the report in invisible white text at the bottom of an e-mail in binary numbers, because he said he knew it would be received poorly.
The Office of Maximum Sustainability praised the move and Director Whana Seber said that it would help the office reach its ultimate goal of decreasing total student breathing output from “unhealthy levels” of 6000 ppm per semester to 10ppm per semester.
The University will issue breathing machines to all students at New South when they pick up housing keys in the fall. The machines were designed by climate scientists at the University and its funnel-like shape allows for easy insertion into the mouth “or other areas of the body that release CO2”.
Many students expressed outrage at the news and blamed former USG president Posh Einstein ’09 for promoting the idea on PrincetonMLIG.
This article is part of The Daily Princetonian's annual joke issue. Don't believe everything you read on the internet.
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Shaun KaraniMultiple lawsuits have been filed against Princeton in the wake of a widespread cybersecurity breach.
Multiple lawsuits have been filed against Princeton in the wake of a widespread cybersecurity breach.
Israeli consulate visits Princeton to discuss experience of Jewish students, follows Tsurkov release
Luke GrippoFor the first time since the 2024 “Gaza Solidarity Encampment” at Princeton, Yuval Donio Gideon, head of the Public Policy Department of the Consulate General of Israel in New York, met with University administrators and campus rabbis to discuss the experience of Israeli and Jewish students on campus.
For the first time since the 2024 “Gaza Solidarity Encampment” at Princeton, Yuval Donio Gideon, head of the Public Policy Department of the Consulate General of Israel in New York, met with University administrators and campus rabbis to discuss the experience of Israeli and Jewish students on campus.
Trump administration announces new travel, visa restrictions in last days of semester
Luke GrippoNew travel restrictions announced by the Trump administration could impact international students returning to campus after break.
New travel restrictions announced by the Trump administration could impact international students returning to campus after break.