Valentine's 2010: #1

It started in kindergarten. He was my first crush, with big, blue, playful eyes and a mess of dark hair. I pined for him, in the way only a 5-year-old can, and considered it a great victory when I was one of only three girls invited to his baseball-themed birthday party.

The next year, I had moved on, and focused my attention on the class daredevil, Harry. The next year, it was Taylor, and then Elliot, and then Chris, and then Matt, and then ...

I've had a lot of crushes, but nothing ever came of them. I was always shy and they were always loud and popular. Nonetheless, from afar, I watched them play foursquare, fantasized about marrying them and girlishly idolized them.

Much time has passed; I've grown up. I eventually got over my shyness (along with my fear of talking to members of the opposite sex) and proceeded to have my share of boyfriends (of the platonic and non-platonic variety). And yet, here I am, a mature woman in college, capable of rational decision-making ... and I still have crushes.

Ever since my first kindergarten infatuation, I've always had a crush (often on a stranger or mere acquaintance with whom I have limited contact). I currently have several: boy-who-always-catches-my-eye-at-Late-Meal, friend-of-a-friend-who-makes-good-conversation and nice-guy-in-Spanish-class. I know, for the most part, that nothing will ever come of these crushes (unless I miraculously get the courage to approach Late Meal Stranger), but I don't plan to give up on my serial crushing anytime soon. In terms of addictive habits, at least it's a healthy one: It can be an easy, innocent way to relieve everyday stress. And serial crushing is surely better than serial eating or serial drinking, right?

Still, I've learned from experience that there will always be some skeptics. After sharing stories of my many crushes to my friends, I realized that they didn't quite understand that having a crush is very different from truly liking someone. To them, having multiple crushes implies desperation or an unwillingness to settle down. I disagree; crushes are merely a distraction, meant to be kept at a certain distance. I don't intend to fall in love with any of them.

When you start to know someone well, want to share your secrets with him or her and allow that person to become part of your everyday life, you no longer have a crush - you have a relationship. This is what has the potential to last and deserves its own special attention.

But, hey, it's OK to have a crush. Princeton can be a serious place sometimes, and we all need a distraction once in a while.