Ask Alexis

Dear Alexis,

Last semester I hardly got any sleep. My work suffered, my relationships suffered and, most importantly, my mental health suffered. I'm determined to have a good semester this time around, and I need to get some more sleep in order to do that. Do you have any advice to help me get some needed rest?

-Sleepless in Scully

Dear Sleepless,

My first suggestion? Drop out of Princeton. It's actually impossible to get a healthy amount of sleep and get all your work done. Honestly, that's the only way to ensure you'll get more rest.

If you'd rather not transfer, we need to decipher what's causing you to be so sleep deprived. If it's all the work you have to do, see my first suggestion; I can't help you any more than I just did in that department. But if it's insomnia, I have a few tricks up my sleeve.

The best way to fall asleep quickly is to study in bed. Get out that big, boring textbook and start to read. I've found that the more you try to concentrate and the more urgently you need to study for that class, the faster you'll fall asleep. While this plan is almost foolproof, I'll give you some more ideas, just in case that one gets, well, tiresome.

Another place to get some shut-eye is in class. I don't have to tell you how hard it is to stay awake when your English professor rattles on about Milton in that soothing voice of his. Now, I'm not suggesting that you sleep in any of your own classes. Rather, I'm recommending that you wander around McCosh when you have some free time during the day and find a mind-numbing class to sit in on. Anything about geology is a shoo-in. Grab a seat in the back of the lecture hall, put your head down and take a snooze. You'll dream of paleontology, and you'll wake up ready to rock.

If your issue has more to do with stress than anything else, I have the perfect website to cheer you up while also making your eyelids heavy. It's cutethingsfallingasleep.org, and it's exactly what it sounds like. There's nothing like a drowsy Dalmatian to warm your heart and shut your eyes.

Ask any Princetonian how much sleep he or she has gotten recently and you're bound to hear, "Sleep is for the weak." For some, that holds true. I, for example, sleep only in 26-minute increments. It's the least amount of sleep I can get without my hair falling out. Trust me, I've tried. It takes a bit of experimenting, but hopefully you'll figure out the amount of sleep that's right for you. And if not, there's always Yale...

Dream on,

Alexis