Dodgeball: If you can dodge a basketball ...

TI got off to a fast start, eliminating four basketball players in the opening barrage while losing just two of its own players.

But basketball had a massive size advantage and stood tough in the face of a hostile crowd.

One by one, basketball picked off TI players, and when the referees called a timeout to move the fences in and force the unruly crowd back into the bleachers, basketball was up eight players to four.

After play restarted, TI made its last charge, knocking out two basketball players while only losing one of its own. But when a caught ball eliminated strong-armed junior Eric Vreeland, TI was in trouble.

In the match’s final moments, sophomore Tommy Parolin was left to face four basketball players. With nearly the entire eating club surrounding the court, Parolin fought back, changing his tactics to focus on looking for catches.

But basketball was too strong, displaying the tenacity and fight that nearly led the team to an Ivy League title for the first time in some years.

“The basketball team was better than us that night,” junior TI player Chris Petrie remarked. “They clearly demonstrated that they have more experience handling balls.”

Earlier in the night, basketball also won the costume contest, sporting a combination of spandex and basketball uniforms. Besting the likes of the Muggle Quidditch team and the sprint football team, basketball collected an early $500.

“Everyone played a huge part in winning every game. Whether it was moral support or having a cannon for an arm, everyone chipped in,” sophomore basketball player Dan Mavraides said. “I have to give a shoutout to the girls’ team for picking our costumes and being the reason for our win in the costume challenge.”

While all who participated were quick to praise tournament directors Mark Stefanski, Eric Markfield, Dave Slovenski and Steve Slovenski, questions were raised by both basketball and TI players after the conclusion of the tournament.

Basketball was disappointed by its placement in the large bracket, in which it was frequently outnumbered by a two-to-one ratio.

“We were supposed to be in the middle division since we only have 20 players, but we were able to hang in there against the teams with more players and bring it to overtime every game,” Mavraides explained. “Once we got to overtime, we were allowed to pick our best 10 players to play 10-on-10, and the rest is history.”

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While some accused the basketball team of using shoddy tactics to force overtime, the referees, from the men’s rugby team, have announced that there were no violations in the finals.

Some TI members were distraught at having to face the men’s water polo team in the semifinals.

“I think the match between TI and water polo was dodgeball at its very finest, and it is regrettable that this match could not occur in the finals,” senior TI player Rob Barnett said. “I have no doubt that the 20 TI members and 20 water polo players are the 40 finest dodgeball players at Princeton, and our epic semifinal match proved that to be true. I congratulate water polo on an excellent tournament and have seven words for the team: ‘See you in the finals next year.’ ”

Without a doubt, one of the most exciting events of the year produced some epic battles. In the upset of the tournament, the Outdoor Action leaders took out a heavily favored football team, whose attendance may have suffered because of unfortunate scheduling — the Dodgeball Tournament began just a few hours after the end of the football team’s all-important spring game.