Calling out for Cupid

There is no time like Valentine's Day to elucidate social insecurities. Whether or not you're in a dating relationship, Valentine's Day always makes you realize that you could have it better. It's quite the paradox: A holiday that's meant to focus on love really does just the opposite.

It does get you thinking, though. Dating isn't really necessary, is it? Most of the time you don't love the person you're going out with, and you sure as hell aren't going to start booking the wedding band anytime soon. We all know what most guys want, and let's face it: It's not hard to get here. The eating clubs foster a hook-up-and-run type of environment. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. But what if one day you wake up and realize that you want to jump back into the dating scene, and you find that it just doesn't seem to exist? Well, just don't go to Rutgers in search. (I fear for your disease-free self. I hear they have developed a new strain of STI able to leap six feet from shoulder to shoulder.)

Anyway, courtship these days has completely fallen by the wayside. Dating is now defined only by arbitrarily drawn personal lines. Of course, dating is different for guys and girls. A guy has to ask the girl out, right? If a guy ventures out on that limb and gets a satisfactory answer, he considers his job done. That was the courtship part ... now to the fun stuff.

So they've both agreed to go out to dinner, albeit casually. The guy now considers the pair a couple; it was that omnipotent "yes, I'll go out to dinner with you" that did the trick. The guy, however, doesn't know that the girl is now governed by a sense of apprehensiveness. The dinner isn't technically a first date. It has its feet firmly situated along the lines of "interview."

After their dinner, which has been filled with awkward lines in attempt to blot out the incorrigible awkward silences that are inevitable on any first date, he takes her to a movie. A sappy one, just to show her that yes, he does have a big heart. Then he walks her home, maybe they kiss, and he putters back to his room. All too often, these first dates don't even happen. The girl finds it easier to just politely decline the guy's dinner offer, foreseeing the awkward silences and misplaced kiss. Maybe, Princeton should just stick to its hook-up culture.

These days, especially in college, and especially at a college like Princeton, it's much harder to impress a girl. You cannot use the, "I have three purple hearts" line, or for that matter, "I'm a doctor, I climb mountains, wrestle with grizzlies, and in my spare time I help tutor inner city school children. Oh, and look at my..." Guys just have to put a little more effort into the dating scene. Girls, we're trying, cut us some slack. I know a few couples that are surviving despite their long-distance relationship. It's not all hopeless; we can improve our current situation. If long-distance dating can work, surely dating in the Orange Bubble can also function. It'll just take a little elbow grease, if you know what I mean.