Ask The Sexpert — Feb. 28, 2008

Dear Sexpert,

I know I should be doing breast exams, but I don't know how or how often to do it. Please advise! Thanks,

Health Conscious

Dear Health Conscious,

You're right. This is a good time to start breast self-exams to make sure that you don't have any unusual lumps or changes. You should perform them once a month, three to five days after the end of your period. The first step is to see if you notice anything unusual - swelling, soreness, etc. - in front of a mirror, both with your hands on your hips and your arms raised over your head. Then, first standing, then lying down, take two fingers and feel your breasts for lumps. Finally, check your nipples to make sure there is no unusual discharge. Remember that lumps do not signify cancer - it's just changes that can be worrisome, and doing a self-exam regularly will help you figure out what's normal for you. If you see or feel something unusual, you may want to make an appointment with a doctor. Don't panic, just get it checked out!

- The Sexpert

Dearest Sexpert,

I overheard this girl talking about giving someone a rub and tug. I have heard of this many times before but the actual meaning escapes me. Please let me know what this means!

Thanks,

Out of the Loop

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Dear Out of the Loop,

A rub and tug typically refers to receiving a massage at a spa or massage parlor and being stimulated to climax by the masseuse or masseur afterwards. The girl you overheard, however, was probably referring to her intention to provide a sensual massage for someone with whom she was sexually involved.

- The Sexpert

Dear Sexpert,

My friend told me he was heteroflexible - what was he saying to me? Does this mean he is straight or gay?

Thanks,

Trying to Understand

Dear Trying,

Your friend is trying to tell you that while he considers himself straight and does not identify himself as a bisexual, he would be open to having a sexual experience with another male - it just depends on who he is interested in and what he feels like in a given situation. It's great that he volunteered this information because it shows he might feel comfortable opening up to you and taking your questions - feel free to show that you're interested and want to know about what it means to be heteroflexible!

- The Sexpert