Cheek a little lonely at Cap 'Olympian night'

Taking cues from Cottage's 'Country Western night', Tiger Inn's 'State Night,' and Quadrangle's 'Anyone, please, night', officers from the Cap and Gown Club decided to fulfill fantasies of their own when they scheduled 'Olympian night' at their club for Saturday evening.

In a move described by many upperclassmen as "typical," a male freshman was the only student to attend.

"When my friend at Cap told me about the night, I got really excited," freshman Joey Cheek, the lone attendee, said while munching on a small box of Wheaties in Frist afterwards. "It seemed like it would be right up my alley."

"I guess it was an honest freshman mistake."

Cheek, who won three Olympic medals for speed skating, including a gold, silver, and bronze, attended wearing a skintight blue leotard and skates draped over his shoulder and carried along with him the American flag he hoisted in the 2006 Winter Olympics closing ceremonies.

"At first I just thought 11:00 was too early to arrive. But I didn't care. I had a solid costume and was looking forward to the night," Cheek said. "I lipped the National Anthem a few times from the steps, but that only took me to 11:02. It got pretty lonely in there after that."

Speaking on conditions of anonymity, a Cap bouncer said they permitted no one else in because no other students had "multiple Olympic medals."

"When we decided on the theme, we were excited because we thought it would be a big night," Cap president Apollo Jansen said. "Back to the drawing board, I guess."

Jansen said that the freshman seemed to be making the most of it.

"At one point I walked downstairs and bumped into this guy standing there, staring out a window at all of the people waiting outside, looking kind of sad. He said he was 'good' and was just waiting for a couple friends."

Four students forcing Jamaican accents and carrying what onlookers described as "a bobsleigh" were denied entry. Bob Costas tried to initiate a slow clap and was removed from the premises.

"Yeah, bumping into the president was a little intimidating," Cheek said. "it's tough as a freshman when you've got some senior talking to you. You've got to hold your ground; keep your composure."

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Cheek, who at 28 is one of the older members of his class, then walked downstairs and grabbed a beer. Jansen shrugged and walked back upstairs to continue working. He insists he was not discouraged by the lack of turnout, though.

"Next weekend we're throwing a bash for my 22nd birthday. Should be badass."