Player Profile: Kyle Morgan '07
You think you know intense? You think you know dodgeball? If you know Kyle Morgan, a member of the defending champion water polo team you already know that you don't.
Morgan prepares, probably more than anyone in the tournament, and knows how to handle the pressure and intensity of the tourney.
We here at The Daily Princetonian asked him about his preparation regimen for the tournament. Hold your breath — it's intense.
"I'd like to get a good burn in this afternoon and evening as well, as most physical fitness literature dictates that muscle memory works as such that it is important to train in similar conditions and at the same time of day as your actual performance," Morgan said. "As such, I'm throwing on the knee-high socks and headband to go run windsprints in Dillon. I've elected to wear steel-toed hiking boots and a lifejacket to increase my resistance, and I plan on doing sets of eighty sit ups while clutching a forty-five pound weight to strengthen my abdominals in the case I receive a shot to them tomorrow."
And that's only the afternoon physical regimen.
As he so acutely notes, "In its essence, dodgeball is really between 82 and 87.4 percent mental, so upon arrival one must have complete control in both the physical and metaphysical sense."
So Morgan burns the midnight oil away in order to prepare himself mentally for the trials that lie ahead.
What's the best way to prepare for a dodgeball tourney? Simple — the veteran runs through a mixture of yoga-like exercises and mind-puzzles until the day breaks.
"I plan on spending the evening doing headstands and watching reruns of 'Law and Order: SVU' to sharpen my mind and problem-solving capacities."
Team preparation, however, above any individualized regimen, has to be the most important aspect of dodgeball in Morgan's mind.
"The most important part of dodgeball is cohesion as a unit with your teammates," Morgan said. "Our team is planning to meet tonight to view a bootlegged version of The 300 on my blu-ray player — the real thing doesn't come out until May 11th — and strategize how to best imitate the Ancient Greek battle formation, the Phalanx. Sean Dryden '07 doesn't think this would be the best tactic, but what does he know anyway?"
When it's all said and done, dodgeball can be one of the most rewarding experiences out there. The hard work and the discipline all pay off in the end — in fact, they can be more rewarding than the outcome. And for Morgan, that's the single greatest lesson that must accompany the dodgeball tournament.
So for all of you dodgeballers who will be on the Dillon floor tonight, remember these words of wisdom:
"It's as simple as this: The dodgeball tournament has nothing to do with hurling objects at one another," Morgan said. "This tournament, as life, is not about the destination, but the voyage. Sure, we won last year, but we've got Matt Hudnall '10 on our team this year! We're doomed! As Confucius once said, 'Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.' The guy was sharp."
Enjoy it, dodgeballers. Live it. Live it like Kyle Morgan.
Associate Dean of the College Tom Dunne
One team to keep an eye on is the faculty squad, led by the legend Dean Dunne, another hardcore dodgeball fanatic. You might think that the faculty are entering for the pure joy of the sport — you know, just to have a good time. You couldn't be more wrong. Dean Dunne has thrived on dodgeball since coming to Princeton.
"Are you kidding? I play dodgeball every day for two hours before work," Dunne said. "There are some hardcore underground games that get organized in the darkest, lowest levels of Jadwin. Invite only. It's like Skull and Bones, except with dodgeballs instead of caskets."
All of the practice, of course, carries some perks. Dunne knows some dodgeball moves known only to the most devoted fans.
Not many of you know Dunne's signature move, but if you're lucky and bring a video camera, you might catch it.
"I do an incredible triple salchow double toe loop toss," Dunne said. "It can't be seen with the human eye. Bring a video camera; it's the only way to see it."
The faculty's secret weapon? Experience, experience, experience.
The Faculty team has been through more grueling dodgeball tournaments than anyone else on this campus. And Dunne thinks it will pay off in gold.
"Like a good bottle of Chateau Margot, dodgeballers get better with age," Dunne said.
How so? The details — it's all in the details.
"It's all about watching air currents," Dunne said. "This is often overlooked by the less experienced student teams. You babies know nothing about velocity and wind drag. I always insist the fans are shut off in Dillon when my team plays."
As for memories from this legendary 'baller, none can top the other best-known event from 1980: the Olympic dodgeball tournament.
"Beating the Soviet Union for the gold metal in the 1980 Summer Olympics. We were the only team able to pull strings and avoid the boycott — Cornel West had an in with someone in the State Department," Dunne said. "I am widely considered the Mike Eruzione of American dodgeball."
The dodgeball tourney should be a great platform for the faculty to demonstrate its athletic prowess. This veteran team comes to, as Freddy Flaxman '07 likes to call it, "The Great Equalizer," brimming with confidence — and even a little trash talk, too.
"Freddy Flaxman has been looking for 'the great equalizer' since he came here from California," Dunne said. "It's kind of sad, really."
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