Until March Madness starts in earnest, this time of year is truly the Black Hole in the sports calendar. With nothing to follow other than another lackluster NBA season, semi-meaningful college basketball games and preseason baseball, desperate fans are left watching NASCAR and pining for the start of the WNBA season.
(By the way, shouldn't we rethink the whole "four major American sports" thing? Basketball hasn't been exciting since Michael Jordan, and does the NHL even exist anymore? I think it's time for a National Dodgeball League to step in and fill the void — but we'll save that for another column.)
Now, with the start of the MLB preseason, baseball writers are coming up with every storyline they can imagine: Oft-injured Cubs pitcher Kerry Wood hurt his ribs falling in a hot tub; Angels pitcher Bartolo Colon is still fat; and reigning National League MVP Ryan Howard found a cure for cancer.
The most interesting story out of spring training, though, is the revelation about Derek Jeter's deteriorating relationship with Alex Rodriguez, his onetime best friend and sleepover buddy.
"You go from sleeping over at somebody's house five days a week," A-Rod lamented, "and now you don't sleep over. It's just not that big of a deal."
This is an actual quote from a grown man with a wife and daughter. Do I need a punch line?
Anyway, into this void steps an old legend ready to save the day. A few days before the All-Star Game in late February, six-time NBA champion Scottie Pippen announced his intention to return to the league to play on a contender for a playoff run. Suddenly, for news-hungry sports fans, there was a story worth following.
Forty-one years young, Pippen wants to log 10 to 15 minutes per game, put his defensive abilities to use and add some veteran leadership in the months leading up to the playoffs. He has no delusions of cracking the starting five on a contender, but he would like to earn a small amount of playing time spelling the regulars.
In the '90s, playing "Goose" to Michael Jordan's "Maverick," Pippen was one of the best players in the league. He was selected for the NBA All-Defensive Team 10 years in a row and with his passing abilities, scoring talent and versatility, he became an integral part of one of the NBA's foremost dynasties.
There's no doubt Pippen had the skills: Back in his prime, he and Horace Grant dominated in NBA Jam. Absolutely dominated. Unless you used Charlotte, with Larry Johnson and Alonzo Morning, you had no hope at all.
Today, though, is a very different matter. When Pippen was drafted 20 years ago, current Bulls guard Ben Gordon, his teammate in the RadioShack Shooting Stars "competition" at the All-Star Game, was only four years old. Judging from Scottie's performance in that event, his game — much like Britney Spears' looks — has deteriorated noticeably since peaking in the 90s. Unlike Britney, however, Scottie retains the advantage of hair.
According to Pippen, he is in great shape with just five percent body fat, and he has played basketball continuously since his retirement. He has been working out in Fort Lauderdale — alongside the rest of the nation's retirees — and he says the idea of a return has been on his mind for months.
However, the two teams that have been linked most closely with a Pippen return, Miami and San Antonio, are not in need of another forward. Both teams are stocked with veteran leaders, and despite Pippen's willingness to play for little money, neither team has jumped at the chance of signing him.
Additionally, it is questionable whether Pippen's leadership qualities would come into play at all. As a recent retiree just joining a team after missing the first two-thirds of the season, it is hard to believe that Pippen would be able to build the necessary rapport with younger teammates to be any kind of a force in the clubhouse. His former abilities would certainly demand respect, but because he hasn't logged serious playing time throughout the year, there wouldn't be the sense of his having been through the regular-season trenches with his new teammates.
Another issue is Pippen's reported debt: According to the Chicago Sun-Times, he owes over $5 million in legal fees, and his decision to return to basketball may simply be a campaign for some financial assistance. After earning more than $100 million over the course of his career, he blames a former agent for losing $27 million through poor investment decisions and dubious accounting. It remains to be seen whether Pippen truly believes in his abilities, or whether he is simply strapped for cash.
If this is the case, it seems that the $210,520 in farming subsidies that Scottie collected during his playing days was not enough to fend off financial woes three years after his retirement. At least it was money well spent for the U.S. government, right?
Ultimately, to collect a paycheck Pippen must first land with an NBA team, and so far he has attracted fewer suitors than John Amaechi-basher and super-hetero-extraordinaire Tim Hardaway in a gay bar in San Francisco.
A team like San Antonio or Miami might take a flyer on a man chosen as one of the NBA's 50 Greatest Players of All-Time, but it is hard to believe he will have much left to contribute.
Please, Scottie, don't tarnish your legacy. If you want to return to the NBA, return as a coach. Otherwise, go back to farming.
Read More
Preview: Football names captains and looks ahead to their first game
Lily PampolinaPrinceton football kicks off their season Saturday at noon at home against University of San Diego. The team hopes to get back on track after a disappointing season last year.
Princeton football kicks off their season Saturday at noon at home against University of San Diego. The team hopes to get back on track after a disappointing season last year.
By the Numbers: Goals and medals for the Tigers’ start to the fall
Harrison BlankThis week in By the Numbers, women’s cross country took first in their first two meets, led by sophomore Meg Madison. Amid these accomplishments, the Tigers won over three-fifths of their games and had winning records both at home and on the road.
This week in By the Numbers, women’s cross country took first in their first two meets, led by sophomore Meg Madison. Amid these accomplishments, the Tigers won over three-fifths of their games and had winning records both at home and on the road.
Late goals lift men’s soccer past University of Massachusetts Amherst, 2–0
Harrison Blank and Matthew YiMen’s soccer overcame a slow start to beat the Minutemen.
Men’s soccer overcame a slow start to beat the Minutemen.