Ask the Sexpert

Dear Sexpert,

Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but I've started to wonder if you can get STIs if you don't actually have any sort of penetrative intercourse. Basically, how risky are things like fingering, oral sex and other things like that?

> Head Harmless?<p>

Dear Harmless,

This is an awesome question, and you're not being paranoid at all. Lots of people think that non-penetrative sex is perfectly safe, but that's a huge myth. Unfortunately, you can still get STIs even if you don't have anal or vaginal sex. You also still run the risk of getting pregnant.

Let's consider some of the most common non-penetrative sexual acts, shall we? As far as handjobs are concerned, you're not very likely to get an STI by giving one. Your odds do increase, however, if you have cuts on your hands or fingers. Using finger cots or latex gloves will minimize that risk.

Various STIs, including herpes and gonorrhea, can be passed from partner to partner when giving or receiving oral sex. The same is true for naked dry humping. You can even get pregnant while humping if ejaculate or pre-ejaculate gets on or near the vagina. Keeping your clothes on while dry humping eliminates this problem.

Don't worry too much, though. There are ways to protect yourself. When performing oral sex on a man, use a condom. When performing oral sex on a woman, use a dental dam or a condom cut open to make a rectangle. Dental dams can also be used during anal-oral sex (otherwise known as rimming). Turned off by the taste of latex? Flavored condoms and dental dams are widely available.

I know a lot of the things I've suggested may seem like excessive, but they are the best ways to protect yourself against STIs and pregnancy.

Keep in mind you can get free condoms at University Health Services. Free dental dams are provided by the LGBT center located on the 2nd floor of Frist.

> The Sexpert<p>

Dear Sexpert,

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Are anal beads a socially acceptable alternative for "the real thing"? Please (s)explain...

> Wink, Wink<p>

Dear Wink,

If by "real thing," you mean any sort of anal stimulation, then sure, anal beads are definitely a valid substitute.

For people who don't know, anal beads are pretty much exactly what they sound like: a bunch of beads connected by a string that are inserted into the anus. There's also a ring on the end of the string for easy removal. They're pleasurable for the same reason all forms of anal play are pleasurable: There are nerve endings in the anus and sphincter which are stimulated when the anal beads are removed, and anal beads can also stimulate the prostate gland in men and the G-spot in women.

As with any sex toy, glass and silicone beads are best because they can be cleaned easily by boiling them or popping them in the dishwasher. Also, use lots of lube for anal play: It will help prevent the anus from tearing (and tearing is not good, since it increases the risk of contracting an STI), and it also makes things slippery and fun. Keep in mind that condoms aren't just for penises, so if you're planning on sharing anal beads or any other sex toy, you should put a condom on it to decrease the risk of getting an STI. Be sure to hold on tight to the condom when you remove the beads, though — you wouldn't want to lose it...

As for whether or not anal beads are socially acceptable, it really depends on you. Some people think they're awesome, some think they're gross, but to each his (or her) own, right? The most important thing is how you feel about them. If you want to use them, go right ahead! If you plan on using anal beads with your partner, you'll want to talk to this person first. Don't just whip them out without asking! Communication is always key.

> The Sexpert<p>

"Sexpert" is written by a team of peer sexual health educators and fact-checked by University health professionals. Submit questions, to be published anonymously Thursdays, to sexpert@dailyprincetonian.com. Don't be shy!