These letters are a part of The Daily Princetonian's annual joke issue. Don't believe everything you read on the Internet.
'Nuff said
Regarding 'Sexpert' (Thursday, Jan. 11, 2007):
What the f—k?
Anscombe Society
'Prince' readers are the ones who need anger management skills
Regarding 'Mad bitter letters' (Everyday for the past week 2007):
Unfortunately, the point of my columns has been mistaken and misunderstood for the past year or two. I cannot help that my writing style is so clear and realistic, but I just want to make clear to the readership and The Daily Princetonian editors that my columns are nothing more but columns. The interpretation is left up to the reader.
Finally, I failed to include this in my last column, but I am reminded that there is only one thing worse than "drunken frat boys," "depressed chain-smoking grad students" and "that appalling look on students' faces when they stalk around on campus looking like they are at the center of the universe": Condescending readers.
Lonahh Jon
Does the 'Prince' even know what facts are?
Regarding 'Administrators make a decision' (Tuesday, Feb. 17, 2006):
The Daily Princetonian seems unable to get its facts straight. For the last time, we are not trying to copy Harvard. We are Princeton University, ranked number one in the U.S. News and World Report, which frankly do not matter that much to me but that is besides the point. Please inform your readership that as much as President Tilghman would like to have superstar Larry Summers' previous job, she wants to complete the femalization of the entire administration before the end of her term.
Sass Cliatt '96 University Media Relations Manager
In the jungle, the mighty, mighty jungle, where is the love?
Regarding 'Lost in a World of Man and Antelope' (Wednesday, Oct. 14, 2006):
I find the University's stance on issues of sexuality woefully inadequate. While we always hear of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender concerns — never is the issue of man to animal love tackled.
As a student identifying as trans-species, I freeze up each time I exit my dorm room: So many squirrels, birds and all those beautiful little bunnies. It's like a 24/7 pornographic movie.
I grew up in the Serengeti and my partner and I had a meaningful relationship for many years before Princeton accepted me. But because of the University practice of discriminating against on the basis of species identification, Phil the antelope and I are now estranged. Tilghman barred Phil from drawing into my dorm and from grazing — as he desired — on Nassau Green.
When will this school end the Princetonian, animal apartheid?
Jungle Fever '09
Don't make me come in and eat your food
Regarding 'A hundred and one ways to barbecue a squirrel' (Thursday, Nov. 18, 2006):
Who has the last laugh when you wake up tomorrow morning and see me on your windowscreen?
The Squirrel
Read More
$56,000 in debt at graduation is not the financial aid Princeton advertises
Avi CheslerTake my story as an example — despite repeated evidence, both before and after taking out loans, that I would be unable to pay what Princeton asked of me — the University never set a cost that I could truly meet loan-free.
In the Garden State’s service and the service of humanity
Olivia Ragan, Lauren Aung, and Madison LintonIt is important to cultivate in students interest in local and state level change, because it is the most direct way to give back to the New Jersey community that sustains the University.
Why do two-thirds of your summer research wages go to Princeton, anyway?
Isaac BarsoumThe income that students earn from employment is not “miscellaneous.” So Princeton must decide: Does it want its students — all of them, not only those who can afford it — to be able to work on the important research happening at Princeton, or be forced to go home?
The income that students earn from employment is not “miscellaneous.” So Princeton must decide: Does it want its students — all of them, not only those who can afford it — to be able to work on the important research happening at Princeton, or be forced to go home?