When it comes to laundry, etiquette matters

I don't think anyone enjoys doing laundry, especially not us college kids. However, at least in theory, laundering one's clothes does not have to be a painful process. You put the clothes in the washing machine, come back twenty minutes later, transfer them to the dryer, let them dry for about 45 minutes, come back, take them out of the dryer, and there you go, you're done. Cowabunga! Cowabunga is a fantastic word, and people should use it more often.

However, when you're doing laundry in college, things are a little more complicated. Factors such as limited machine availability, carrying laundry outside during inclement weather and the Sunday afternoon laundry rush make the task more of a hassle than the above theory would suggest.

Given that the college laundry experience is such a drag, the Princeton community needs to develop a way to make the laundering experience a more pleasant one. The first step toward accomplishing this divine mission is to punish those who abuse laundry room privileges.

Take, for example, The Bum. The Bum is that kid who hasn't done his laundry in a month and finally decides that going commando for another day is going to make him much better friends with his Dockers than he wants to be. The Bum then wakes up early on a Sunday morning, hogs four washers in a row with all his laundry, and goes back to sleep until dinnertime when he finally transfers his laundry to the dryer. I hate The Bum. I guess that means I hate myself, but in any case, The Bum is problematic.

Another violator of laundry room privileges is The Jackass, my foremost adversary. The Jackass is the reason your wet clothes have been removed from the dryer, are spread out all over the floor and are now covered in a layer of dirt. The Jackass relies on the low probability that you will catch him in the act, and considers his clothes to be superior to yours. Typically, The Jackass's wardrobe consists of plaids, pastels and little horse logos.

Before we decide how we should fix laundry room problems, we should look at the positives of the Princeton laundry room experience. We should be thankful that our laundry is free and that we do not have to carry around hundreds of quarters every time we need clean clothing. The Princeton endowment covers this cost so that students can save their quarters for robo. Also, there are angelic students who actually fold clothing when removing it from an occupied dryer and then neatly place it on a table.

Still, people like The Bum and The Jackass exist, so it is necessary that we, the upstanding members of the Princeton University community, add laundry room etiquette to the existing honor system.

Though a committee should be created to vote on rules, I will suggest a few here. 1. On weekends, if crowded, students may use no more than one washer at a time. Two on weekdays. 2. If a washer has completed its cycle and clothes have not been removed, a student should transfer these clothes to a dryer. If no dryer is available, the student should wait a courtesy five minutes and then may remove the wet clothing and place it on a clean countertop. 3. If a dryer has completed its cycle, the student should wait a courtesy 10 minutes before removing clothing and placing it on a table. Folding is not necessary. Violators of these and other laundry room rules shall be subjected to a suspension from laundry room privileges of not less than one year.

We all know Bums and we all know Jackasses and we all hate them. But if you walk into the laundry room and you run into The Bum or The Jackass, don't freak out. I mean, it's not that big of a deal. After all, it is the laundry room. Just take a deep breath and make that violator sign the pledge.

I pledge my Honor that I have not violated Laundry Room Etiquette during this washer/dryer session. Neel Gehani is a sophomore from Summit, N.J. He can be reached at ngehani@princeton.edu.